this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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[–] ArbitraryValue 122 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

It would be very nice if being conventionally unattractive also made a person attracted to other conventionally unattractive people.

I wonder what hurts more: the unfulfilled asymmetric entitlement shown in the comic or intellectual honesty of the "I wouldn't be attracted to me, so I shouldn't expect most other people to be attracted to me either" sort. Probably the honesty, since many people pick experiencing the entitlement.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

I'm in camp #2, I think camp #1 would be worse, cuz you'd end up trying and failing and getting rejected. Can't be disappointed if you never have hope to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Overall I think the entitlement hurts more, especially over time, but it's a lot easier to blame external factors than it is to look inward and see where you can improve yourself.

There may be more initial hurt from being honest with yourself, but once you get past that initial hurt and begin working on yourself, you find things you love about yourself and don't need the external validation as much as you thought you did. Honesty it the first step on the journey of self-improvement and ultimately self-love. Once you love yourself it's easier for other people to see what's lovable about you.

Entitlement just makes you angry at other people and drives them away, leaving you alone with your anger.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've been in the honesty camp for the last decade, however I've come to accept that I'll never love myself. I still have my anger, but I focus it inward where it belongs.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

As long as you aren't blaming others for that anger.

Also go easier on yourself, I'm willing to bet you don't deserve the amount of anger you direct at yourself. I realize that probably doesn't mean a whole lot coming from someone who doesn't know you or your situation, but it's something to consider