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...Really? You pull out deep-cut stuff like...
...but you haven't already seen this scene from Lower Decks?
On a related note: https://screenrant.com/star-trek-lower-decks-wesley-crusher-return-wil-wheaton/
I get VERY overwhelmed with too many options, and avoid spoilers like the plague. We had a busy few years and when I started getting more and more Star Trek stuff in my news feeds (let them track me, I live for Sci fi,) I realized I was behind by FIVE new series! Now I don't know where to start. Also hubs and I try to stick to 2 streaming services at a time (which right now is Netflix and Hulu but we can easily change that...) and had some trouble figuring out where to watch one of the new shows. Then I forgot about it, until yesterday!
If you have suggestions for what order and where to watch, I am VERY receptive. We need help!
I just thought it was funny that, of all the silly things you could've mentioned, you happened to pick one that was so explicitly lampshaded.
Anyway, I'd say that since you haven't seen Enterprise you should watch that first before continuing on to the new series.
Honestly, I haven't seen a lot of the new Trek yet myself: I've only watched Lower Decks and the first two seasons of Discovery so far (along with about a season and a half of The Orville, which counts just as much as Galaxy Quest does).
Of those three, I think Lower Decks is just flat-out great, The Orville is the most similar to TNG (aside from the occasional deliberately-awkward Seth MacFarlane humor, which thankfully diminishes after the first few episodes), and Discovery is begrudgingly okay, but is both superficially annoying in terms of aesthetic continuity with older series (e.g. the weird Klingons) and trying way too hard to be "epic."
As for the rest, I've heard good things about Strange New Worlds, bad things about Picard, and Prodigy is kinda off by itself in a separate category because it's targeted at kids.
As for where to watch, I think everything's on Paramount+ now, but I just got a hard drive full of "historical documents" from an acquaintance.