ID: Drawing of a duck billed platypus underwater, they're wearing a rainbow coloured t shirt and a pink bum-bag, and saying: "Ally is not something you can self-identify as, it's a title that you earn. Let your actions speak for themselves!"
Credit: Sophie Labelle
This isn't about purity, but you tell yourself whatever you need to to avoid engaging in the mild discomfort of unlearning and challenging your privilege, existing bias, and the status quo, I guess.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is reinforcing their point though. The person you're responding to almost certainly supports you unconditionally. But you're at odds here because of a difference in experience/strife.
I recognize I have no horse in the race, but I do go out of my way to offer support. All I'm saying is your efforts are better spent fighting actual bigotry.