this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
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The 2 a week occurrence was just the past week and it was clear this has been going on for some time. Look at what BB said "you routinely report simple disagreements as misinformation" and "This has been going on for months". BB just didn't make a big deal out of it. Regardless of the frequency, our moderators moderate the communities out of their own free time. If they want to go to someone on the side and say "don't report stuff like this" to save themselves time they are well within their rights to do so. That's how the conversation started, no hostilities or anything. Just saying "Hey this doesn't break our community rules so please stop reporting it". A mature and adult-like response to something like this would have been "I disagree, but fine." It didn't need more that. A mature person could have also said "Can we look into making it a rule or having a discussion about it at least?" if they were feeling passionate about the subject. FS then had a very childish response of saying "Well I just won't report anymore then". That's not an appropriate way to respond to something like this. I've flagged comments before that got ignored even though I think they should. I've never had a mod have to have this kind of conversation with me but I also never made it a big deal and just re-thought about what comments should be reported.
As for your steps, I agree with you for the most part. I don't know if BB should have talked to the other mod(s) before having this kind of conversation as I feel that's a bit extra and unnecessary. If mods had to deliberate over every report and comment than they would get nothing done. Also, I don't see how BB antagonized FS. He was well within his rights to say "stop reporting stuff like this"
Everything can be said one way, or the other. Hitting someone with full blame with no diplomacy in between will get people to be defensive. I don't get why "I'll stop reporting" is a childish thing to do - a mod just asked him to do that. They provided no easy way to differentiate between "misinformation worthy" and "not". Hell, they even had two mods say the exact opposite thing and then heard "do what we both tell you". The way it starts with a screenshot, first conversation they ever had, no "hey wanted to talk about something I've been seeing recently". Like, read the exchange and assume BB is pissed / annoyed, and Squid is neutral / doesn't know at the start, and becomes pissed / annoyed later. Like the "you should know better" message - are you there to stop the reports, or are you there to tell off / antagonize the user? "happening for months" is also a huge "nono".
This is something that corporations teach every manager / team leader in the company. To not use absolutes, to not embelish, to use language that refrains from personal observations and instead focus on facts and truths. "you are always late" when someone had to drop off kids twice this week because their spouse was sick. "You never do what I ask you" when someone has done 19 things you asked them, and forgot the 20th - which to you happens to be the "important" thing, but you haven't communicated that priority to them. All of these piss people off and diminish their contribution / their effort or their circumstances.
They absolutely should have talked to the other mod. If this indeed has been happening for months and was "annoying" enough to warrant a confrontation, it needs to be talked about among the modteam. There are millions of people out there in the world, each with their own character, their own beliefs and behaviors. One person would get annoyed, the other welcomes it. Ultimately it needs to be agreed as to what needs to be done - this isn't some huge violation that's blatantly obvious as being "bad and requiring corrective actions". And if it is - it requires mods to talk about it first. And if it isn't - it can be met with a shoulder shrug and two button presses that probably say something to the line of "ignore report".
It's not an adult-like response. I expect this kind of thing from a child or someone who's emotionally manipulative. Setting boundaries is part of everyday life. Agreeing/disagreeing with the boundary is also part of everyday life. Blowing it out of proportion just tells me this person cannot handle being told something they don't like. You don't jump to extremes when someone makes a request of you. That's not healthy.
This will be a difference in opinion. But I genuinely don't see it that way. Saying "you're a mod too, so you should know where I'm coming from and what these rules mean" is not out of line in the slightest. And commenting on a trend or a habit is also not a "nono" in my books. I honestly don't see it as antagonistic in the slightest.
I see where you're coming from about the behavior of managers and speaking to the other mod. It's not technically incorrect for you to make that comment. But at the end of the day our mods are all volunteers who also have personal lives. They don't get paid for this. Comparing them to a professional manager, who is trained, vetted, and paid to be what a company wants them to be is not a fair comparison if I'm being honest. This is a community driven environment. Our mods are mods because they care. Acting hostile to them when they're just trying their best is not a good look. I've had some of my comments removed at times. I didn't agree with it but I let it slide because I don't feel like it should be made a big deal.
"you're a mod too, so you should know where I'm coming from and what these rules mean" is a whole lot of a different sentence than "you should know better". That's what I'm saying - you and I can sit down on the toilet and think of a million ways of saying it better. Happening for months doesn't need to be brought up - you are reacting to what is happening now and what you want to happen instead. Dwelling on the past is counterproductive. You are informing a user for the very first time about something they shouldn't be doing - they know it then and there. Mentioning "you have made this mistake multiple times now but I didn't say anything!" is blaming someone for not reading your mind. If it happens after you confronted someone and you did it again? Sure, bring up the previous conversation.
Even if you go the confrontation route - I see a misinfo report that shouldn't be that, please don't report things as these comments. - oh I disagree - that's your right but ultimately I'm asking you to stop reporting comments like these - oh then I'll stop reporting alltogether - i'd rather you still reported abuse, but please don't report opinion as misinfo. Thank you.
End scene. No need to keep arguing, no need for personal feelings, no need for bad communication.
Mods being volunteers with personal lives doesn't really excuse a bad interaction. Just because companies train people for something doesn't mean it is some esoteric knowledge. It needs to be pointed out to "level" the knowledge of every single manager / tlead. But at the end of the day, it's just good listening and objectively looking at something, and not letting your emotions get the better of you.
I see where you're coming from, but I just don't agree with it. I think this is just a case where we'll have to agree to disagree. Hopefully, you don't take it personally because you did actually provide some thought provoking comments. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day.