this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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Psychology
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To be honest, I forgot there is a web version of discord people can use. Also, I guess I didn't go into it because I was being long winded with the rest of my message, but every barrier to entry if you want to sustain a small community has a chance to kill it or limit the addition of great users who would otherwise keep it alive. I'm sure a ton of people would like to join something like lemmy, but don't because the concept of federated servers is a real barrier for those people. Discord feels like a major barrier since you can't really find the kind of community you really want to join since you can't taste test the content of the server before you join. The discord servers I'm in are either based around a community that's already popular and it is an extension of that OR it is a more organized version of a group chat with my friends. I'm sure there are general purpose discord servers that manage to be small and friendly, but they seem really hard to find if you want to find them. It is fine if you want to connect to other people who (for example) all are fans of the same youtube channel, but if there's not that common thread, I'm not seeing how a community like that could start or thrive. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just haven't seen it before. I just think my main gripe against discord is being used by companies for troubleshooting so answers to common problems can't be searched on the web, which is an entirely different issue.
I agree that small communities are better, by the way, the way you talked about is mostly how it is in language learning servers, some are really comfy, even more if its of a single language only and one that isn't usually listed as most spoken languages worldwide since people learning those others have very really specific curiosity/need/couldn't find many communities on it. Maybe you'd like it more, I don't know if there are Matrix servers like those yet, maybe I just haven't found too.
When it comes to Discord, I think it's easier to sign up on Matrix than Discord though, Element is pretty straightforward and already pre-selects an instance when signing up for those who isn't familiar with decentralized tech yet. I bet if Lemmy had a landing page for people to share when trying to convince others to join to sign up and pre-select lemmy.ml (since it is maintained by one of the devs, you are already trusting using their software anyway) it could help, or not, just an idea.
I have both Matrix and Revolt, but they remain empty unfortunately. The advertised public servers are so full I usually leave within an hour. And I can't get my friends to join my Matrix channel instead of the discord server they are used to using. I also fully admit that real time chatting is just not my thing, so my bias is definitely towards non-real-time social media sites. Growing up with dyslexia and AIM, I'd always feel really insecure about spelling things correctly and it always takes me a while to send a message. Again, fully a me-issue that other people generally don't have, but I can dream haha
I have managed to get friends to use Matrix but not switch, if they don't even bother to try using it (i really mean use, not replace or switch, that's a bigger ask) they are either just lazy (I don't mean it in a bad way, some people usually are because they are in a bad mental state and just too exhausted day-to-day) or it's just not worth your time as much as you think. There are friends and there are people who are just going along.
Have you heard of Neocities? They're also open-source.
Every day I relearn that Neocities still exists I'm surprised. I also had no idea it was open source! Thanks for the info! I honestly love the "small web", and neocities really has a large portion of those kind of sites. I also follow some Bear Blogs, though I think it's rare to find comment sections on these sites, so communication is limited to emailing if this was to be considered social media. But it definitely makes me feel more cozy than any of the corporate owned media sites.
Wow, first time I hear of Bear Blogs, thanks for sharing, I will try it out!
I also find blogs more cozy, nothing wrong with emails for communicating (if you use a good email provider/self-host).