this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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When people tell you depression is just in your head and to just be happy it is the most fucking infuriating thing.
That's not caring about you. That's downplaying your illness in a completely heartless and stupid way.
Well, in their defense, depression is pretty much in my head... the whole head to be specific. /s
More and more research is linking it to the gut as well.
And I can tell by experience that good nutrition, hydration, sleep, exercise are paramount in getting over it. Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury, so mocking or downplaying them is not helpful, quite the opposite
Of course it's all in my head. Its not like all my depression is stored in my right foot.
Except that these are real, clinically-proven treatments for depression.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/british-journal-of-nutrition/article/effects-of-hydration-status-on-cognitive-performance-and-mood/1210B6BE585E03C71A299C52B51B22F7
This isn't saying "it's just in your head". This isn't claiming taking a walk will cure you. But this is suggesting clinically-proven treatments that may ease symptoms.
Are there toxic people out there who think mental disorders are not real? Sure. But jumping to the conclusion that the people trying to offer solutions are downplaying your illness and being "heartless" and "stupid" is a fairly significant jump to make from just "hey maybe you should try these clinically-proven treatments".
Yeah I came to say this. Tried to kill myself as a teenager. Nothing helped my mental health more than getting my act together. Diet, sleep, exercise, and less toxic media. there is no hard line between mental health and physical self. Your whole being is in constant conversation.
I just want to point out that even you qualify these benefits.
It MAY ease symptoms. Or it may not. It may EASE symptoms, but it won't get rid of them entirely. It may ease SYMPTOMS, but it's not a cure.
They're like on the first page of results of anyone who has depression when they look up how to break out of it, so there's an incredibly high likelihood you're not the first person to discover hydration and exercise. They also don't work for everyone, so it can be especially disheartening to hear the same advice over and over when it hasn't worked for you in the past. It starts feeling like no one listens before they give the same 'hydration and exercise' mantra.
Yes because I don't expect every friend of mine to be a licensed psychiatrist capable of diagnosing and prescribing medication. Heck, even a lot of medications use that exact same qualified language in their advertising because the human body and mind are incredibly complicated and inconsistent things.
It's like when I get a cold and my mom tells me to keep my fluids up. It helps and shows she cares even if it's nowhere near as good as antibiotics. And yes of course I already know to stay hydrated. Just like I know how the weather has been and I remember the story she tells me 4 times a year of that time my older sister broke the neighbor's window with a basketball.
Lashing out in anger at those trying to reach out and help you isn't going to make you feel better even if their advice isn't perfect.
In the quote we're discussing he specifically mentions people telling him to just not be depressed. Which is absolutely not useful advice. And something I hear all the time.
"Just be happy" is not useful or caring advice.
I kind of disagree with that being not caring about you. It's kind of more like they are helpless to help you, but they still want you to be better because they want you to be happy.
So, a lot of people default to giving useless advice. It is still an expression of care and love and support, just an ineffective one that is insulting and annoying to someone who's currently going through it.
I would much rather have somebody whom I've known for years tell me to try doing things that improve their mental health than to have nobody or for everyone to just look the other way while I am suffering.
It can definitely come from a positive place. I understand that. But it's massively insulting to assume they can just get over it and are choosing not to.