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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably just ask about it. They could be asexual. Years ago I was with someone who was, and we had sex, a lot of dirty fun, she was totally into it, but she didn’t cum and told me she doesn’t need to. I found out after that she loves having sex just to feel close and connect, not for sexual gratification, she didn’t masturbate either.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_asexuality

Without knowing your relationship history, maybe your partner is somewhere in this space but doesn’t openly talk about it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I don't think this is the case as she is hornier then me at times, she initiates a lot and has sexual fantasies. I think that she is just satisifed because this is the best sex she has ever had is it is the only sex she has ever had, so she is missing out on something that she doesn't even know (I think)