Asklemmy

44140 readers

955 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

131

How do I stop slef sabotage and procrastination? (mander.xyz)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

55 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I used to be good at time management and very motivated in my career. Then about two years ago I lost a close friend over a strong disagreement and then lost my job.

Slowly but surely I became a bit depressed and had some physical health issues. I'm seeing a therapist already, and a few months ago I finally managed to get a plebe job at a retailer, but when it comes to doing my personal work that would open doors in my industry I just can't seem to find the time and motivation to do it.

Don't get me wrong. I got plenty of time available, I just find myself being ridiculously avoidant or distracted or tired, you get the idea. And, no, I don't use social media much, I don't videogame or binge shows. I just get distracted with house chores or simply overthinking.

I've already tried lists, planning and goal setting ( all this comes naturally to me), but it makes no difference.

I've tried reducing the expectations and goals, no difference. I still don't do anything.

I tried apps to keep track of my progress; also useless.

I've even considered finding a life coach, but I get the feeling they're a scam. Unfortunately I don't have any friends or relatives that can help me stay on track with my goals.

TLDR I'm getting a bit desperate here. Any suggestions welcome. Thanks.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I'll give my perspective anyway.

Why do you care about getting "back in your industry/career"? Yeah you did it previously, but is it really what makes you happy?

When you have goals, you always think "once I reach this, everything will be better". In my experience and with everyone I ever talked with, this was never the lasting case. Reaching some nice goal gave satisfaction for days or sometimes even weeks or months, but never longer. Then it was back to dissatisfaction and another goal.

The common path frequently described out of depression is getting back into the groove of setting goals, following them, not being satisfied, setting another goal, repeat. This is not how I got out of my depression and also not a good life.

I don't think it's important that you reach your goal of getting back in your industry or whatever. I think it's important that you're fine with not reaching it. I think it's important to recognize that you can be happy and satisfied right where you are, exactly with what you have.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Fair take.