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Alpha Male in Critical Condition After Accidentally Touching Unopened Box of Tampons
(thehardtimes.net)
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
Are guys really worried about manliness when picking up tampons at the store? If anything it'd make a guy look better to me. Picture this: big scruffy sweatpants dude shuffling your way in a tight alley in the early hours of the morning... Then oops! he drops his box of tampons.
He could probably stab me cuz that would drop my guard big time.
A friend in high school heard me and the girls whispering (one of whom was his girlfriend). When he found out one of us needed a pad or tampons and we were seeing who had some, he got excited for the chance to go to the store to get them for us, because he said that buying tampons is the same as screaming, "I have a woman!!!"
I hope that guy is happy, wherever he is. He was a kind soul.
and then use the tampons to avoid leaving blood traces
I'm mostly worried about which one to grab
This is why I always wrote down very precisely what pads I needed for my husband to grab, or just took a photo and sent that.