this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024
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I don't think "feeling like an idiot" is productive. People helping scam victims try to make them not feel embarrassed, as it can get in the way of thinking rationally about this.
Idk, if you put all of the blame on the scammer, there's less reason to change behavior to prevent the next time. It's fine if it's to get past the initial anxiety and start making progress toward a solution, but that feeling of being stupid really motivates me to change my behavior to protect myself better.
You shouldn't blame yourself for causing the problem, but you should recognize the actions you should have taken to prevent the problem. If you don't have at least some shame, why would you do something different the next time?