That sounds so much like me! I would still add this on top: The constant rejection from my surroundings made me mask to the point where I refused any identity and tried being faceless. So that nobody could judge me anymore. In retrospective, this way of life has always been a failure.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

damn, hearing it from someone else hits different. sometimes i yearn for the closeness of intimate friendships but the anxiety at the vulnerability of expressing a genuinely held opinion wont let me do anything else