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I have no clue how you define "middle-class" but not even the fanciest weddings I've been to have spent even close to $250 per person. That kind of expenditure sounds quite a lot more like upper-class to me. Assuming you invite 100 people to the wedding, an average Joe will not have 25k to spend on one party.
Source.
Source.
Source.
I assume that these estimates are based on different datasets, and my guess is that they're biased upwards, but they do roughly match what I know from personal experience.
The issue with these statistics is that they look at the average, which is heavily boosted by the exceptionally expensive weddings of the higher upper-class. The median is significantly lower.
https://silkstemcollective.com/median-and-average-wedding-cost/
Also I'm not American, maybe people there just spend a lot more on weddings in general than what I'm used to.
You're correct, but even the median (with inflation) is still probably over $20,000 right now (based on the assumptions that it was $18,000 in 2019 and 2020 is not representative). I think my broader point still stands.
I know a person currently planning a relatively small wedding, and she's trying very hard to save money. One cost-cutting measure was booking a space on the fourth floor of a building without an elevator. (She asked me whether or not it would be possible for strong guests to carry elderly guests up the stairs.) Her budget is still $10,000.
I can go to a restaurant down the street that isn't crazy expensive and spend $150/person with alcohol easily. I've had Michelin starred dinners for $500/person with normal person nice wine. This a fancy state dinner for the fucking king with likely very expensive wine. French Laundry, one of the best restaurants in the world, is close to $1000/person with wine and that isn't for fancy $2000/bottle wine.
As far as wedding costs go, $25k is pretty normal for a wedding. My cheapest friend cheaped out hard on his wedding and spent $5000 over 25 years ago in Indiana. Getting a wedding down to $10k is hard these days. The median is now $18.5k. So if the median spend is close to $20k, then middle class people are often spending more than that.
https://www.moneygeek.com/financial-planning/analysis/average-cost-of-wedding/