Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
You are a defeatist because you are unhappy and unwilling to do anything about it.
And that’s the last I’m saying. I just can’t bother with someone who wants to keep talking like the world is the way it is and there’s nothing you can do to change it.
There's nothing that I can do about it dude. Is my reality and my soul, my nature. You just exist, i won't change myself into something I don't wanna be.
You don't want to be happy?
I have some advice for you, that I hope you can apply (if not-- oh well, advice is cheap). There are no hard rules to life. There is no way that men or women (or others) must be, simply because they are. There is no "average woman". There is no such thing as being bound to one purpose, or one fate. Your life is the sum of your choices and the experiences that result from them; no more, no less. And if you're in an environment (IRL or online) where this seems to be wrong-- everyone thinks in a way that you disagree with, or agrees that change or exception are not possible-- change your environment. Your brain is a machine that will offload any choices it can make whenever possible to be more efficient. Your environment is a powerful shortcut. Make sure that it's working in your favor. I wish you luck in changing your fate.
Changing your environment is a middle class luxury, do you think poor people have the luxury of "start over again" moving and stuff, that bs is from your Hollywood movies.
I live with my family in a middle size apartment ffs. There's no start over. There's no ✨ change your environment ✨ I'm unemployed and poor. And that won't change even if I had a job.
It would certainly help. "Change your environment" doesn't necessarily mean "move". Getting a job counts. Surrounding yourself with people who have healthy thought patterns counts. Redecorating your room counts.
Healthy thoughts? So apparently I'm supposed to surround myself with gay people or something? Because everyone screws everyone. I don't see that as unhealthy, is just reality
I haven't been screwed over by someone in literal years, because I surround myself with people who don't do that. Again, if you think "everyone" does something, that's likely not true; it's only a reflection of the people you see daily. "It's just reality" is a thought-terminating cliche that is preventing you from improving your environment.
I'd argue my tone has been at least 50% technical rather than pure guru nonsense, but fine, how about I switch to something more direct. Get off your ass and stop complaining about your life without making any effort to fix it. You want to be happy? You want the people that you know to treat you with respect? Drop the ones who don't, and find ones who do! I'm not lying, I'm not gaslighting, and I'm not trying to mislead you. What possible incentive would I have to do that? Do you think everyone goes around being miserable 100% of the time? No, because we have chosen to identify and fix the problems in our lives (internal and external-- that's why I keep bringing up environments), so that we can enjoy the lives we're making. You owe it to yourself to do the same.
Obviously I don't know much about your life, that's why I'm trying to get you to understand how to fix it yourself. I can't do shit, I'm just trying to motivate you to do something. If you do have someone in your life that you value and trust, you should ask them for advice, but until you do, this is the best you're gonna get.
You think I'm doing this as some sort of power trip? What a twisted view of reality. I'm doing this because I want to help, for some reason.
Well, you did ask me to change techniques. Ultimately I can't force you to be motivated. Anyone you talk to on this site is throwing shit at a wall to see if it sticks. If you want tailored advice, talk to someone IRL. Like I said, this is the best the internet can do for you without knowing more about who you are.
Listen, I never said it was your fault. Most people aren't where they are because it's their fault. Not rich people, not poor people, and probably not you or me. Some people are born into a life full of challenges, and some are born with a bulldozer that can ram through any issues they face. That doesn't mean that you should just lay down in the road and give up, does it? Like I said, you do have some control over your circumstances. Are you going to suddenly become Bezos? No. But you can change your environment. You can make an effort to do things that you care about, instead of giving up. You can ask for help if you need to rest, because you can't make a massive effort every day indefinitely. Relatedly, setting up your environment so that you don't have to make a massive effort to make the choices that you know are good for yourself is the whole reason I keep bringing it up.
Sometimes when life feels out of control I find working on my hobbies helps me relax and sometimes even see things from another perspective. Playing guitar seems to help the most