this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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I really needed this. I live alone and work full time and have chronic illnesses. I struggle to keep up with everything and it drives me absolutely crazy. Idk how people can keep their homes so clean and still have time for themselves.
hey, married people without chronic illnesses can barely manage as two people and sometimes with outside help. idk where you get the idea people have time for themselves. pretty much no one i know does.
you have a lot to sort through and you shouldn't be hindering yourself by being hard on yourself or comparing yourself to some imagined perfection outside.
small chunks, one thing at a time. if you don't have time for something don't worry about it. work on your peace of mind and wellbeing first. getting rid of some dust bunnies won't do much good if it costs you your mental health.
Thank you for the encouraging words. It means a lot. My very messy home is a source of distress in regards to my mental health, unfortunately. I managed to get a couple tasks done yesterday and feel a little better about it. I still have so much to do. It also doesn't help that my pets love to tear things out as soon as I put them away. Little shits are so sneaky.
these are mostly tips for procrastinating but could apply:
prioritize according to urgency: do you have something to wear for tomorrow? do you have clean plates/cups to eat and drink? if one task needs attention first, that should be the only thing you care about. don't think about both at the same time.
and for that one task: if you can fragment it into small chunks and worry about only one chunk at a time that could help. you don't need to do the whole laundry, you just need a couple white undergarments washed today.
focusing on a small chunk could help minimize the size of the task in your mind and encourage you to get into it a bit more easily. usually starting is the hardest part so when you do a couple of clothing items, it feels insignificant, maybe almost silly not to finish it. i mean you're there, the laundry is there. "might as well" is a pretty strong motivation; how you might trick yourself to get to that part is the challenge.
some people use timers instead. like the five minute rule: commit to only do a task for five minutes. time it if it helps. again this should help minimize the task to just a five minute thing but once you're doing something for five minutes it will often feel trivial not to finish it while you're at it.
another one is a two minute rule: you don't even commit to doing the task itself. just commit to "get ready" for two minutes. that minimizes the task even more. getting the laundry basket ready, taking the hoover out of wherever you keep it and plugging it in, the simplest of things... once you're there you might feel comfortable starting at that point.
final thing, not about procrastinating but this might apply to your chronic illness:
once i tried learning to play the guitar, and had these audio lessons to get started. they put my mind at ease because here's how they opened:
sometimes it's easy to blame ourselves for feeling tired or even hurting through a task... and feel pressure to push through, only to risk feeling worse or injury
That's really good advice. Thank you!
That sounds exhausting - I’m sorry, I hope you’ll somehow be able to have an easier time at some point.
Thank you. I'm getting therapy right now and one of my goals is to be able to manage things better. Hoping my therapist can help me out.
I know people who have living conditions and habits far, FAR worse than mine, so I just think of them when I'm spiraling and feel a little better.
Reasonable expectations and also downsizing. It took me a long time to realize your stuff ends up owning you, especially stuff you don’t need.
It’s extra surfaces to clean, takes up space in your living area, and usually stops contributing to your mental well being.
Stuff like original artwork, that works for me. I like going to starving artist sales and can usually find something to put on the wall.