ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

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Struggling to set life into motion (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I either have an exciting plan,
or when that fails, no plan (I resign).
Since the exciting plans usually fail, I end up living on autopilot.

I really struggle making things in life move. There's too many simultaneous Big Tasks* whose logistics I need to keep track of that I can’t hold them all in my head at once (I can only focus on one Big Task at once). Especially when most tasks are timelines where you need to wait for responses, compose emails, search for things (there might be none – what then?) etc. and where you need to think about the order of the tasks in the timeline so that you save time. Not to forget remembering to notice if people haven’t replied to your e-mail and having to either remind them or come up with a Plan B (this usually leaves you stumped because you now can't get the thing you started the whole journey for). There's so many steps to keep track of and you can't even write them down because the amount of steps keeps changing.

*Finding the next place to rent, booking a dentist for my hurting tooth, planning journeys (what is the Plan B if the journey is too expensive?)

The cluelessness and dread of having to come up with a Plan B is why I hate searching for things. Having to come up with a Plan B is so disorienting. And it's the opposite of stimulating: you've put in a ton of effort and gotten nowhere. How do you all deal with it?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

For those two examples, I'd either keep looking or lower the requirements if I believe it's absolutely impossible - it all depends on the time constraints.

If I have 8 months more to look for a job, I won't care / lower my expectations. If I need a job now, I'll find whatever and look for a better job in the meantime.

On the vacation example, I would keep trying to find a place where I want to stay until I'm actually pressed for time - then I'd look for a place further away or lower the requirements.

Sometimes trying harder works, but the times it doesn't, it's more valuable to find something not-so-nice and settle than to keep stressing and trying to find something impossibly good, without achieving anything.