this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Assuming a healthy, loving relationship:

Advantages

  • You always have someone in your corner. Someone who will stand next to you and face whatever comes. Someone who will listen to your fears and anxieties, and reassure you. Someone who can take one look at your face and know that you need a hug, or a tickle monster attack, or a cup of tea.

  • You have someone who considers you vital to their happiness. You're the person in their corner. You get to love, support, and nurture them just as they do for you.

  • You have a built-in partner for things like camping, traveling, going to trivia night at the local bar. Someone who will bring you a beer when you're too lazy to get up from the couch. Someone who you can make smile just by bringing them coffee in bed.

  • You can be yourself! They love you just the way you are, you lil weirdo.

  • The stability that comes from a relationship with mutual respect, cooperation, and negotiation is really comforting.

Disadvantages

  • You lose some spontaneity for doing things solo, because you need to check with your partner to make sure you don't already have plans.

  • Sometimes you have to hide snack foods if you hope to get your fair share. We have a drawer in our fridge that didn't get much use. I started squirreling away cans of sparkling water in there because if I didn't hide them, they'd all be gone by the time I decided I wanted one.

  • You can get into a rut, but neither one tries to change it on the assumption that the other one is happy that way.

  • Sometimes they toot in bed 😑

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

You lose some spontaneity for doing things solo, because you need to check with your partner to make sure you don’t already have plans.

This isn't really inherent to relationships unless you count "friendships", too.

Not all relationships are deeply entangled. I have a partner that makes their own plans without checking with me. We use a calendar to keep track of like "we're doing such and such Friday" so we don't double book or forget, but that kind of "loss of spontaneity" would happen if it was "trivia night with the guys" or "dinner with friend"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago
  • You can get into a rut, but neither one tries to change it on the assumption that the other one is happy that way.

So true!

I wish someone had warned me about that.

I specifically wish I had learned the power of the phrase "how is this working for you?" sooner.