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I solved this by purchasing 2 sets of 15 white cotton rags. When I finish evacuating my bowels, I use the bidet. Then toilet paper to make sure everything is clean. Then I use one of the rags to dry off whatever water happened to get on my genitals, before giving the backside a good wipe down as well (women learn this young, but for the men, ALWAYS CLEAN FRONT TO BACK. NEVER BACK TO FRONT. That's how you get a UTI). Toss the rag into a small laundry hamper I keep in the bathroom, and voila! You're clean, dry, and ready to go. Just wash the rags with some bleach, and you can fold them as you take a dump instead of doom scrolling.