this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2023
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This is getting so stupid, it’s beginning to sound like The Onion. Why don’t they just start charging for reading posts.
Here’s an idea: Every day you get 5 Reddit Emeralds for free, and you can use them to read 5 posts. If you want to read more, you can get more emeralds from Common Reddit Loot Boxes. You can buy those boxes with Reddit Rubies.
You can get Reddit rubies from Rare Reddit Loot Boxes, and in order to get those, you have to use Reddit Diamonds. If you have 19 Common boxes you can also craft 1 Rare Loot Box. Doing so will also require 10 rubies.
You can also buy Reddit Diamonds with Superior Crypto-Augmented Money (SCAM), and getting those coins requires real world money.
Ok, so now that you have all these gems, you can put them to good use. Emeralds are used to read posts. When you comment, there’s a 50% chance that it will be deleted within 30 minutes, but you can improve your odds by spending 1 Reddit Ruby. For each Ruby, the odds improve by 10%. Posts have the same mechanism, but you need to spend Diamonds instead.
/u/spez is violently taking notes.
Be careful or you might get a job offer from reddit
Or EA.
too late, Twitter has got OP to sign a contract already.
Meh, Twitter doesn't take contracts that seriously under Muskrat.
Write that down! Write that down!
Dear God they'll have this implemented within a week. Why did you do this?
Some men want to watch the world burn and use the resulting embers to make some popcorn. 🍿
Twitter only lets you read so many tweets without paying, so this is entirely possible
OMG it happened again. Just say the stupidest thing you can think of, and you’ll find out that thing was already made reality some time ago.
Too plausible!
Same reason why Raid Shadow Legends and Destiny make so much money.
See also: different types of deceptive designs
While working on a software project, you could turn that job into mini-game where you try to squeeze each and every one of those tricks into the app. Who knows, there could be a secret achievement for that.
They're already discussing this, believe it or not. I saw an announcement about it a few weeks ago.
Going crazy with that scenario wasn’t enough since reality has already caught up with it. Need to up my game…
Got half way through your post and started to feel sick. Not because it's ridiculous, but because it sounds like actual other apps and this is our reality now.
Sorry about that. That’s what tends to happen with literary naturalism, a style I find my self gravitating towards every now and then.
The onion wasn't wrong. He is ahead of it's time.
The onion wasn't wrong. He is ahead of it's time.