this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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Wow! New feature! Now you can CHOOSE how many paper towels you grab from the roll!

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[–] [email protected] 197 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Tell me you're young without telling me you're young.

Paper towels, for most of my life (I'm old AF), were as long as they were wide. Square, they were. Bounty originated select-a-size by perforating them twice as frequently, so they were half as long as wide. Others eventually followed suit and now youngsters think that's how it's always been.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago (2 children)

To be fair to OP, they really should've stopped advertising this as a feature years ago. It'd be like if sliced bread was still advertised as "Now sliced for your convenience!" or whatever.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 months ago

They still sell the square cut rolls though. This lets the buyer know it is the narrower cut.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How else am I to tell the difference between a full size and select a size? I buy full size for the garage and select a size for the house they serve two purposes so eliminating the standard size wouldn't be the solution.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Buy shop cloths my friend.

It's not a fabric product, still paper towels, just they're made for automotive/shop use. I swear by them and they have no "select-a-size" option. They're also thicker and come apart less than normal paper towels.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You're talking about the blue stuff on a roll, right?

I have some and they are select-a-size.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That's new to me. I don't think I've seen them like that.

Alright.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam -1 points 2 months ago

How is the larger size better for use in the garage?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Lol. Yeah. Young, young, OP.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And Bounty always claimed to be the most absorbent brand of paper towel, so the move was like saying "you only need half as much of our paper towel compared to other brands."

Not sure how actually absorbent they were; my family always got Brawny.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Burly Paper Towels are the best and the mascot is dreamy.

I’d let him split my wood if you know what I mean.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's why my mom got Brawny. It was that sexy lumberjack.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Good thing those paper towels are so absorbent because I could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I prefer my penis in one piece, thank you very much.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I saw a documentary about Burly Paper Towels once. One of their most loyal customers got to meet the mascot Chad Sexington. Turns out he was a loser and I heard he's a boozer.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yup. I remember when we had to tear our own half sheets of paper towel. Kids today have it too soft, and absorbant.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I did that the other day

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah I remember when they started advertising them like that. Back when the towels were about twice as long between perforations.