this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
104 points (97.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27062 readers
1982 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I have imposter syndrome, both at work and in my relationship.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It depends on an age group. I would agree that in a group of 20-30 it's a mess, but 35+ you can find a decent partner (depending on your age of course).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Odd. That's backwards from what I generally hear people talk about. When you're still in your early twenties, it's very easy to meet people in college/university. Once you start getting older and leaving behind schooling and its associated extracurriculars, it gets way more difficult to meet people. Where are these 35+ people going out and finding partners? Not saying it's impossible by any stretch of the imagination, just a lot harder.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

bingo.

the whole 'you'll do better when you're older' is a myth told to silence people who are unhappy in their 20s. Things don't get better, they stay the same or get worse. People don't magically mature at the age of 35 or anything... typically they just double down on bad attitudes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

people generally tell comforting myths and lies to themselves and collectively because the harsh reality of the situation is too terrifying to accept.

people also generally believe that 'one day i'll be rich'. even though they are 45 and working at a cashier in a gas station.

it's also easier to tell yourself comforting BS because then you don't have to take action and realize you are mostly a product of the choices you have made.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I agree it's easier when you are older. Not in late 20s early 30s but there is a lot of movement when people break up because they chose badly when young. So after 35, it opens up again.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

no you can't.

I am over 35. I had no toruble finding people 20-35. Now I have a lot of trouble and I have nothing in common with people my own age, not to mention the ones i do meet up with... are incredibly angry at their exes/life, and many of them are still expecting to find 'the one' as in someone who saves them from their own bad choices/habits. It's dark.

at least when i was younger people were optimistic and fun.. now a first date is always 'what's your income, what is the price of your home, can you provide for me? if you aren't you're a selfish worthless asshole of a man'.

and i'm like, 'ok'.