this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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Are there any resources on how to potentially improve this? I know audiobooks, but I do really want to actually read. I did talk to my therapist in the past about it but they were no help.
That's definitely too basic. I work on a screen all day and use my phone for communication as much as anything. I could block apps but that hasn't changed my behaviors. Also we have a neurodivegence which inherently can't distinguish the importance of stimuli so I just replace one distraction with another.
I remember a few years back, after I finished my university exams (which were online), I was desperate for a break from a screen, but all of the things I would do to chill out from exams (namely, spending time with friends) was mediated by a screen.
I know it can be really difficult to listen to the advice to "turn off all distractions" when I need to interact with technology in order to do most things besides my martial arts and spending time with my partner. I also rarely keep to a habit or just reducing something, I need to replace it with something that pushes me to do something else which isn't easy.
Something that I've found useful is finding ways of leveraging inertia^[1]. A big part of this is using separate devices for different things. Some people find it useful to have a clear divide between work devices and personal, but that's never worked for me, I tend to separate contexts. I'm getting too abstract, so I'll bring it back with a few concrete examples:
If I decide to take a break and do something fun on my laptop, I might sit somewhere out of reach of my charger, which limits me to around 2 hours of battery life. If I have to get up to put my laptop on charge, I find it easier to change task back to working if I'm already up.
If I am gaming on my PC and want to wrap that up but am at risk of a "just 10 more minutes", I might order takeout (if I remember to eat), because that's another forced stop to my task and when I'm up, it's much easier to honestly ask "is gaming what I want/need to be doing right now" than it is when I'm mid-game
If a friend I want to reply to has messaged me when I need to work, I may make myself reply to them from my main computer at my desk, because I'm less likely to get stuck doomscrolling on my phone in bed in that world.
Inertia definition below, in case you or anyone else reading this are unfamiliar with it in this context: [1]: a term borrowed from physics, which means basically the same in the neurodivergent context as it does in physics: an object in rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, UNLESS acted on by an outside force. In an ADHD sense, this captures some aspects of task switching; procrastination and task activation; hyper focusing and cycles where you do lots and then crash.
This seems unnecessarily hostile. I think your original comment makes a good point, as does the person replying to you. If you don't want to be a part of a discussion, then fair enough, but this is an oddly judgemental comment to be making.
Is that really what you want, to be a part of perpetuating hostility? I legitimately don't understand why the tone escalated so much: You said use screens less, someone replied to you with a few reasons why that might not be possible for some people, and in your reply to that, you just sort of blew up?
The reality is that most people are less patient than I am and will just downvote and move along. Maybe I should have too, but I thought that your original comment had the potential to seed an interesting discussion. I could say more here, but it's not my job to convince you of the merits of not being an asshole in a world where that niche is already more than fulfilled. And who am I to talk, maybe negating discussion and getting downvotes are the results you want
If it really were as simple as you make it out to be, we wouldn't be here now, would we? What an asshole.
You are literally telling a psychologist that you know better about how this works. Also I'm not unhappy with myself, I love myself. I also know there are things I can do to improve and am seeking advice from my community to do so. Your advice basically boils down to "just stop lol" which would not be helpful at all to anyone for anything.
I also specifically asked for resources, not your opinions, so do keep them to yourself in the future.
You are literally talking in a group about a neurodivegence, a type of mental health issue which makes us function differently than others. This means there are behaviors we can't easily change due to how our neurological functioning.
Do you truely believe you are in 100% in control of every little action you do? That no underlying cognitive barriers exist to make you do things or not? Are you some type of robot or a human being?
Also, do you even have ADHD? If you do, you must either be some evolved specimen above us mere mortals or you lack the empathy and self awareness to understand that people can sometimes struggle to change themselves.
I can both have struggles to change my behavior and not hate myself at the same time, it's called accepting myself for who I am.