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Your first sentence, you state it's not an appeal to hypocrisy, then you define hypocrisy in the same sentence.
The issue is not discriminating against the rights of others while giving yourself those same rights. The issue is discriminating. Period. There's no other caveots there.
If you're going to sex shame them, you're just as bad as them. Let's celebrate their sexuality instead.
Then your last sentence, "it is better to use a fallacy to force them to think logically". C'mon what the fuck are you even saying? It's self defeating since you're already not thinking logically if you're using fallacies. You're talking about FORCING SOMEONE TO THINK? You are just as bad as them.
Okay, please tell me do I convince an anti-intellectual logic that they refuse to use? I have tried to with no success.
I do not want my gay friends imprisoned for wanting to be happy, I do not want my trans friends lynched for being able to look at themselves in the mirror. How do you propose I convince those that do through logic alone, when these people are only willing to consider emotional/illogical arguments?
I don't care about arguing, I care about solutions, what are your solutions to this discrimination we both hate?
You're talking sheer pregmatics here? Awesome, now you're speaking my language.
Celebrate her relationship. Turn her into a gay folk hero for hooking up with women despite the upbringing / programming.
Such a solution could actually work (the example of a Republican finding no controversial stuff in her school's curriculum comes to mind), however the problem is it would require the person involved to disassociate with there (presumably anti-gay) friends and family and be accepted by her former "enemies", which would be especially hard if they had a public facing role. They possibly may even have to reject a emotionally driven worldview/ideology they may have adopted, which is quite difficult.
You don't have to consent to becoming a gay folk hero.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HimToo_movement
For better or worse, past evidence suggests people can't be heroized against there will until they are dead (as was the case for the anti-nillist philosopher Nietzsche)