Asklemmy

43947 readers

478 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Is any body able to provide some advice to help my friend through a bad patch? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I’m a bit of a degenerate but making better choices lately and sort of getting things on track.

My friend had some health issues and had to stop working, my other friend now does all the labour, and he just runs the business.

He then split with his partner who he has children, as frankly he would never be at home and it was always going to happen.

I just found out the health condition has gotten worse and he will have to lose a leg. He never improved his diet, kept hitting the coke hard and gambling. So recently he has gambled away £35,000 and had a breakdown with another friend.

How do I even be there for him and keep him on a good path, providing he is open to change.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Provide him a bunch of self help resources and some candid conversation and encouragement. Change starts within and it's solely dependent on the person in question. You cannot champion somebody else's change, you can only really assist and cheer.

Tell the mother fucker to stop digging his hole, because life isn't full of miracles.

Change CAN be swift and efficient but that depends on a lot of factors and it sounds like your friend needs to sort out the home environment and bad habits first.

Try Atomic Habits or The Power of Habits as suggestions since they clearly still struggle with step 0.

Find a positive activity or hobby to do with your friend. Getting outside in nature is great for healing the mind and soul, and doing that with a friend is easier and potentially more enjoyable. Usually pretty cheap also.

Breathing exercises. Meditation.

Your friend has to find willpower and control, then start with that power towards the goal(s).