Asklemmy

43946 readers

498 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

131

Advice on finding a partner? (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

113 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I just got ghosted by the girl I was talking to, I want to find another girl to talk to. This girl and I met at the gym, but I don't want to be the guy that goes to the gym just to meet girls. I mean sure there's the bar and Tinder, but I want a real relationship. I mean, I guess it'll come to me.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] platypode 57 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

I had absolutely no luck trying. I went on dates, swiped apps, talked to every girl I thought was cute, and none of it went anywhere beyond some weird halfhearted relationships. About two weeks after I gave up altogether, I met a girl on my way to the water fountain and we just clicked. Six years down the line and we couldn't be happier.

I guess my best advice is just don't sweat it. Be yourself, do what makes you happy, put yourself in situations where you'll meet new people, and sooner or later somebody will come along.

[–] xmunk 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I think people are too quick to discount this advice but it's honestly the best way to find a genuine life partner. Do stuff you love and if you find someone you're interested in doing it (and they feel the same way) you have an excellent basis for a relationship.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

And if that fails, if you do hobbies you love with other people, at least you'll make new friends.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

Nothing is less attractive than the stink of desperation. I said the same thing to a friend of mine. He was out of a relationship and looking for a new one. Within 6 months of not trying to find someone and just enjoying his life, there she was.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

About two weeks after I gave up altogether, I met a girl on my way to the water fountain and we just clicked

I just have to say thank you for posting this, as I was just commenting earlier today how I got together with my (now) wife after giving up and focusing on myself. I really appreciate seeing that my experience isn't a one off like I've been told before (which is amusing because I've had it happen multiple times since).