The Onion

4704 readers

104 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

596

Wallace Shawn Emerges As Frontrunner To Replace Daniel Craig As James Bond (www.theonion.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

74 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I dunno what happens to actors when they play James Bond, but they tend to physically fall apart afterwards. Daniel Craig somehow looks like he's 80 now

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Casino Royale was 17 years ago and he was already almost 40 then.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Someone already mentioned Craig so I'm going over the rest.

Brosnan was 48? during his last Bond movie and I think he looked good in The November Man, which was 10 years after his last Bond movie. He's 70 now so obviously he looks like shit now.
Dalton looked great in Hot Fuzz and that was almost 20 years after his Bond movies. Dalton is nearing 80 so he also obviously looks like shit now.
Moore, if I did my math right, was almost 60 when he Bond career ended. I have no idea what he did after Bond but when you stop being Bond at his age it shouldn't come as a surprise if you physically fall off.
And then we have Connery who had a long career after Bond.

I'd say it's been mostly Craig who has "fallen apart" but I also think he bulked up for Bond and it took a toll because he pushed beyond his natural physique (he was much leaner before Bond).