Sadly, this is not the Onion.

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76
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David Einhorn says we have reached the ‘Fartcoin’ stage of the market cycle (www.cnbc.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/ChocolateTsar on 2025-01-21 20:47:46.
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Instagram hides search results for 'Democrats' (www.bbc.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Competitive_Mark8153 on 2025-01-21 20:44:08.

What?

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Police charge woman with ‘Definitely not a bag full of drugs’ tote for trafficking meth (www.wowt.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Mitsakes on 2025-01-21 20:42:55.
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There was a catastrophic fire in a ski resort in Turkey today. 79 people burned to death. Government carried their bodies with a fried chicken truck. (x.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/InnerAnimal_ on 2025-01-21 19:06:58.
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Josh Gad Says He Was Denied a Role in ‘Avatar’ Because He Looked Like a ‘Tall Overweight Smurf’ As a Na’vi (variety.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/fuzzball517 on 2025-01-21 17:15:51.
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Yesterday Fox News Discussed Shutdown Of "TitKok" (politicalhotwire.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/postfuchs on 2025-01-21 17:06:50.
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Judge sentences woman for setting fire to Springfield home using Takis tortilla chips (www.ky3.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/anotherlost-one on 2025-01-21 16:46:18.
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2 arrested for impersonating firefighters, using illegitimate fire truck in Palisades Fire area (abc7.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/csolisr on 2025-01-21 16:26:56.
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Tesla Cybertruck Owner Celebrates 3 Months Without Any Issues (www.torquenews.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/FlyingLego on 2025-01-21 16:23:25.
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TikTok says it’s restoring service — shutdown drew humorous calls for calm by police (archive.ph)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Of-Lily on 2025-01-21 15:17:08.
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Fire chief shot and killed after stopping to help driver who hit deer with their car (abcnews.go.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/wawaboy on 2025-01-21 15:15:11.
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Serbian Government responds to protesters with a big fat middle finger (n1info.rs)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/jojke1 on 2025-01-21 14:44:02.
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Peeing is contagious among chimps (arstechnica.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/AaronfromKY on 2025-01-21 13:50:15.
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A woman purchased a vacant Hawaiian lot for about $22,000. She was surprised to see a $500,000 home was built on it by mistake (fortune.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/relevant_tangent on 2025-01-21 09:33:35.
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Mystery balls on Sydney beaches found to contain toxic material (www.bbc.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/TDYDave2 on 2025-01-21 08:47:30.
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Melania ’s Hat Blocks Kiss from Donald During His Second Inauguration (www.tagde24.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/gay_boy_us on 2025-01-21 07:25:39.
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'All kinds of things love drugs': Police said rats break into evidence room to steal drugs (turnto10.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Kingman9K on 2025-01-21 06:23:23.
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Doughnuts a hit to the wallet in Waterloo Region, police warn (www.therecord.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Terrible-Scheme9204 on 2025-01-21 03:50:29.
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Title (reddit-uploaded-media.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Yamza_ on 2025-01-21 01:48:49.
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Champagne sales sink because people don’t want to celebrate (edition.cnn.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/thefirsteverredditor on 2025-01-20 21:49:16.
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Treasury Committee question if new Office for Value for Money is value for money (news.sky.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/F0urLeafCl0ver on 2025-01-20 20:18:05.
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‘Viagra honey’: the illegal aphrodisiac France can’t get enough of (www.thetimes.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/fuzzball517 on 2025-01-20 18:44:27.
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Matthew McConaughey Says It's Time Anthony Hopkins Was Crowned PEOPLE's "Sexiest Man Alive" (fictionhorizon.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/fuzzball517 on 2025-01-20 18:25:54.
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Biden Issues Pardons Hours Before Handing Over Presidency (www.tagde24.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/gay_boy_us on 2025-01-20 18:03:25.
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Alabama and Mississippi will also honor Robert E. Lee on Martin Luther King Jr. Day (apnews.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/RedditIsAGranfaloon on 2025-01-20 17:43:10.
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