Get Motivated!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Mayapaceybental on 2023-12-04 16:48:35+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/absurdman007 on 2023-12-04 12:45:04+00:00.

Original Title: [Discussion] I am really bad at making trustworthy friendships and at this stage in my life (25M), though it's not late but i dont have 1 single person or had an external relationship to whom i can trust or even vice versa.

We are social animals who needs people to talk to people to work but What am i lacking? I get off really well, first impressions are good but then i dont know what happens. Where do i mess up. I try to crack jokes (the office moulded me to crack cringey jokes what to do). Have gone out of my comfort zone to make a friendship but i dont still why people don't want to share their thoughts with me. If any one can guide me I'll be forever grateful to you.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/MJdigi_Mark on 2023-12-04 11:34:41+00:00.

People who make moves have zero tolerance for people who make excuses.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Careless_Shoulder_15 on 2023-12-04 10:07:50+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/motivationswag on 2023-12-04 03:32:26+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/MJdigi_Mark on 2023-12-03 22:29:16+00:00.

Well, If you want to become a diamond… first you have to get cut!

Remember it takes work to get to where you want to be!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Remarkable_Peak_2301 on 2023-12-03 21:43:29+00:00.

I'm going to go straight to the problems I have, but first I'll give you a brief context:

I'm 16, 17 in a few days. I've never been a very motivated person, just as I've never had a real connection with my emotions. Not like "wow, what a cold, emotionless psychopath I am...", it's just that I'm very apathetic; I feel emotions, of course, but like, if my computer stops working, I'm just normal, if I break a plate, I'm normal. It's like my dopamine base is low (which I actually think is the case). Most of the time I have to use my discipline or some extrinsic motivation.

The problems: I have Maladaptive Daydreaming, Limerence and Aphantasia. You probably don't know them, and as I was possibly cursed at birth, so I'll explain them in a simple and general way, and give an example of how it works for me:

Aphantasia: A lack of imagination. The person is incapable of imagining. In general, that's it, but it can go deeper into cases such as a lack of ability to imagine emotions and situations. For me it makes it difficult to motivate myself, I can't create a situation/return to a situation and use it as fuel, I can't have a purpose or something like that.

MD: A compulsion to daydream, most often used as an escape valve for loneliness, sadness and/or boredom. I've already used it for these three. For me it's difficult to really motivate myself for the right things, either I train while daydreaming all the time or I try to focus on training and keep it that way.

Limerence: Simply the worst of all. An obsession with the idea of a partner, being chosen for N reasons, having reciprocal feelings for you; also being an obsession in THIS, not just the IDEA of it. When I'm in limerence, my god, my world shines brighter, I feel more motivated, more normal; Of course, there are bad days, but I maintain my consistency. But when I'm not in limerence? (What's happening now) I just feel unmotivated, apathetic. And honestly, as pathetic as it is to say this, I mentally need a girl to obsess over in order to be at least disciplined.

Of course this is all just a phase, I'll probably be limerent again soon, daydreaming countless times etc. But this phase is just one of many, which are happening more and more. I've stayed consistent since August, I have discipline, but I can't keep going like this anymore. That's why I need help.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/kadilar on 2023-12-03 19:45:44+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/CooperMulScu on 2023-12-03 18:57:36+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/MJdigi_Mark on 2023-12-03 22:29:16+00:00.

Well, If you want to become a diamond… first you have to get cut!

Remember it takes work to get to where you want to be!

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Remarkable_Peak_2301 on 2023-12-03 21:43:29+00:00.

I'm going to go straight to the problems I have, but first I'll give you a brief context:

I'm 16, 17 in a few days. I've never been a very motivated person, just as I've never had a real connection with my emotions. Not like "wow, what a cold, emotionless psychopath I am...", it's just that I'm very apathetic; I feel emotions, of course, but like, if my computer stops working, I'm just normal, if I break a plate, I'm normal. It's like my dopamine base is low (which I actually think is the case). Most of the time I have to use my discipline or some extrinsic motivation.

The problems: I have Maladaptive Daydreaming, Limerence and Aphantasia. You probably don't know them, and as I was possibly cursed at birth, so I'll explain them in a simple and general way, and give an example of how it works for me:

Aphantasia: A lack of imagination. The person is incapable of imagining. In general, that's it, but it can go deeper into cases such as a lack of ability to imagine emotions and situations. For me it makes it difficult to motivate myself, I can't create a situation/return to a situation and use it as fuel, I can't have a purpose or something like that.

MD: A compulsion to daydream, most often used as an escape valve for loneliness, sadness and/or boredom. I've already used it for these three. For me it's difficult to really motivate myself for the right things, either I train while daydreaming all the time or I try to focus on training and keep it that way.

Limerence: Simply the worst of all. An obsession with the idea of a partner, being chosen for N reasons, having reciprocal feelings for you; also being an obsession in THIS, not just the IDEA of it. When I'm in limerence, my god, my world shines brighter, I feel more motivated, more normal; Of course, there are bad days, but I maintain my consistency. But when I'm not in limerence? (What's happening now) I just feel unmotivated, apathetic. And honestly, as pathetic as it is to say this, I mentally need a girl to obsess over in order to be at least disciplined.

Of course this is all just a phase, I'll probably be limerent again soon, daydreaming countless times etc. But this phase is just one of many, which are happening more and more. I've stayed consistent since August, I have discipline, but I can't keep going like this anymore. That's why I need help.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/kadilar on 2023-12-03 19:45:44+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/CooperMulScu on 2023-12-03 18:57:36+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/jokerstyle00 on 2023-12-03 17:06:46+00:00.

About to start a big new chapter of my life, and I wanted to share a story for people out there who might have felt the same dread as me in my 20s (granted I'm 29, but I'll be 30 in less than half a year, so who's counting?).

I grew up in the shadow of an insanely talented and successful father, as well as being the only child who grew up separately from the rest of my family due to being sent off to boarding school at a young age. People around me expected me to be the family scion, a role model for my younger siblings and the rest of my generation within the greater family.

"You're going to do amazing things out of college, I bet."

"You're a bright kid XXXX, you're gonna go far."

"Make sure to keep up with your father, haha!"

Expectations can be motivators. They can also be toxic.

After getting shipped off to boarding school, I never quite figured out how to interact with my peers. I was hyper obsessed with trying to be normal, and hitting "normal milestones". Spent my high school and undergrad years obsessing over social popularity and trying to find a significant other, while also hating how awkward I was. I found it hard to connect with people and felt isolated. My hobbies were all over the place. Gaming, anime, breakdancing, cooking, jewelry-making, stand-up comedy, etc. I graduated after transferring colleges once, an English major after 5 years of undergrad.

Post-undergrad, I bummed out at a relative's house for awhile and tried to figure out how to find work. Tried a variety of odd jobs, but nothing clicked or really stuck. My father suggested I try advertising, since at the time (pre-pandemic) it was the "safe and stable choice" for a writer. I was 25 at the time, and feeling increasing despair and ennui at the fact I still hadn't figured things out.

I went to an advertising school, only to realize after the fact that I hated what I was doing and said school was a diploma mill. Then the pandemic hit during the 3rd quarter of my program. I didn't see another human being in person for almost a year after the lockdowns started. I gained weight. My sleep apnea worsened.

I was at my lowest point. I was 28, feeling alone, unfulfilled, and I was severely overweight. One day, I bent over to put on my shoes and it took effort. My job application count for advertising agency and copywriter positions was over 600 at that point, and my imposter syndrome was fully in play. After all...

"Why would the people who keep rejecting you over and over tell you that you're a 'great writer'?"

I snapped.

That day, I signed up for the gym across the street and started personal training the week after. I started giving a damn about my diet. I took a break from hitting job app after job app and worked on being myself instead of trying to be who people wanted me to be. I indulged my curiosity and finally tried doing something with my voice.

A year later, I'm now starting my career as a professional voice actor with my first demo in its final stages of production, I've dropped 30 pounds, have gained considerable muscle/stamina/confidence, and am no longer pre-diabetic, I've managed to save up to 5 figures for the first time, and I'm moving to Tokyo next month to pursue language school and hopefully settle in Japan for awhile.

I was groomed and told throughout my life the importance of having it all figured out in my 20s, especially if I ever wanted to be as successful as my father.

To those people, I say:

My 20s sucked. My 30s are gonna kick ass.

It only goes up from here.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/jokerstyle00 on 2023-12-03 17:06:46+00:00.

About to start a big new chapter of my life, and I wanted to share a story for people out there who might have felt the same dread as me in my 20s (granted I'm 29, but I'll be 30 in less than half a year, so who's counting?).

I grew up in the shadow of an insanely talented and successful father, as well as being the only child who grew up separately from the rest of my family due to being sent off to boarding school at a young age. People around me expected me to be the family scion, a role model for my younger siblings and the rest of my generation within the greater family.

"You're going to do amazing things out of college, I bet."

"You're a bright kid XXXX, you're gonna go far."

"Make sure to keep up with your father, haha!"

Expectations can be motivators. They can also be toxic.

After getting shipped off to boarding school, I never quite figured out how to interact with my peers. I was hyper obsessed with trying to be normal, and hitting "normal milestones". Spent my high school and undergrad years obsessing over social popularity and trying to find a significant other, while also hating how awkward I was. I found it hard to connect with people and felt isolated. My hobbies were all over the place. Gaming, anime, breakdancing, cooking, jewelry-making, stand-up comedy, etc. I graduated after transferring colleges once, an English major after 5 years of undergrad.

Post-undergrad, I bummed out at a relative's house for awhile and tried to figure out how to find work. Tried a variety of odd jobs, but nothing clicked or really stuck. My father suggested I try advertising, since at the time (pre-pandemic) it was the "safe and stable choice" for a writer. I was 25 at the time, and feeling increasing despair and ennui at the fact I still hadn't figured things out.

I went to an advertising school, only to realize after the fact that I hated what I was doing and said school was a diploma mill. Then the pandemic hit during the 3rd quarter of my program. I didn't see another human being in person for almost a year after the lockdowns started. I gained weight. My sleep apnea worsened.

I was at my lowest point. I was 28, feeling alone, unfulfilled, and I was severely overweight. One day, I bent over to put on my shoes and it took effort. My job application count for advertising agency and copywriter positions was over 600 at that point, and my imposter syndrome was fully in play. After all...

"Why would the people who keep rejecting you over and over tell you that you're a 'great writer'?"

I snapped.

That day, I signed up for the gym across the street and started personal training the week after. I started giving a damn about my diet. I took a break from hitting job app after job app and worked on being myself instead of trying to be who people wanted me to be. I indulged my curiosity and finally tried doing something with my voice.

A year later, I'm now starting my career as a professional voice actor with my first demo in its final stages of production, I've dropped 30 pounds, have gained considerable muscle/stamina/confidence, and am no longer pre-diabetic, I've managed to save up to 5 figures for the first time, and I'm moving to Tokyo next month to pursue language school and hopefully settle in Japan for awhile.

I was groomed and told throughout my life the importance of having it all figured out in my 20s, especially if I ever wanted to be as successful as my father.

To those people, I say:

My 20s sucked. My 30s are gonna kick ass.

It only goes up from here.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/davidmam12 on 2023-12-03 13:28:28+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/davidmam12 on 2023-12-03 13:28:28+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/crackheadwhoo on 2023-12-03 12:55:08+00:00.

i am 21. i lost people who i thought were my friends. trusted them, and treated them like my family, and they were the ones who never bothered to ask me how i was, even tho they knew i was going through a rough patch. when i confronted them, they blamed me and made me feel guilty. i was always there for them, but they never turned up when i needed them. the worst thing is, they are my classmates and i have to face them every day. kinda realised that they were never happy for me, they were jealous and insecure of me. they were never straight with their answers and were passive-aggressive.

i have never wished anything bad for them, I always was a genuine well-wisher, then why me? i feel my life won't change and I'll never really have good people.

i am finding it difficult to cope with this loss and think positively, which is why my grades are getting affected.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/crackheadwhoo on 2023-12-03 12:55:08+00:00.

i am 21. i lost people who i thought were my friends. trusted them, and treated them like my family, and they were the ones who never bothered to ask me how i was, even tho they knew i was going through a rough patch. when i confronted them, they blamed me and made me feel guilty. i was always there for them, but they never turned up when i needed them. the worst thing is, they are my classmates and i have to face them every day. kinda realised that they were never happy for me, they were jealous and insecure of me. they were never straight with their answers and were passive-aggressive.

i have never wished anything bad for them, I always was a genuine well-wisher, then why me? i feel my life won't change and I'll never really have good people.

i am finding it difficult to cope with this loss and think positively, which is why my grades are getting affected.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/MJdigi_Mark on 2023-12-03 10:32:11+00:00.

Well, When life shuts a door on you.

Just open it again! It’s a door, that’s how they work

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/MJdigi_Mark on 2023-12-03 10:32:11+00:00.

Well, When life shuts a door on you.

Just open it again! It’s a door, that’s how they work

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Administrative-Sir70 on 2023-12-03 05:15:42+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Administrative-Sir70 on 2023-12-03 05:15:42+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/interlacedfingers_ on 2023-12-03 03:27:07+00:00.

Open that document and write the title of that book/chapter/article you've wanted to write for months/years now. Put out the gym clothes for your walk/jog tomorrow morning. Open that language learning app and take the first lesson. Click on that dance tutorial you've been saving, stand up and just start.

I just realised I have so many things on my want-to-do list that I think are fantastic ideas but they never materialise, they just stay in my head. This is a message to myself as well as anyone in a similar situation - just start! You don't have to write the full article, even if it's just a working title and the first 2 sentences. If you wanna get fit, don't spend hours, or days making the plan or attempting to make the plan and get tired/demotivated along the way before you even start, just get up and do some fucking jumping jacks. Dont think about how you're gonna launch a whole deep clean operation for your home to leave it spotless with all these fancy detergents you're gonna get and whatnot, just start by clearing the dishes in the sink, or putting all your shoes in one place. Read the first paragraph of that book you've been carrying around. Try out one practice question for your final. Draw out the sketch for your painting. Call that friend or family member you've been meaning to talk to, even if it's small talk for 10 minutes or just text them 'hey'.

Just that the first step, any step, no matter how small, just do something, you'll plan the rest along the way but you must start. You can't afford to wait any longer, you must start and you must start now!

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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/yellowho on 2023-12-02 22:11:49+00:00.