Sort of weird, but that sounds like a really great place to be, doesn't it!?
fairchild
joined 1 year ago
Maybe some of the situations you experienced are what causes stress/anxiety in a similar way, which makes it harder to talk. You might find answers to it once you dig deeper into that topic. The only advice I can give you in all of this is to take your time with it, or better put: give yourself the time you need, it's the most important part... I'm often super slow with understanding where things come from, how they affect me and so on. I think it's a good sign you came here to ask, a first step in the right direction, so to speak.
I've been occupying my mind with plants a lot a few years ago and found geometry in all the leaves and blossoms particularily interesting. Also, botanical names is a whole topic by itself. The pronounciation or words in general surprisingly often fit the "character" of the plants pretty well :)
Sure, np. It always helps me to read other people's experiences as well so I thought I'll share that as it's no issue for me to talk about it. Try to get into that topic with your therapist, maybe you will need some time or a few attempts, but I'm really wishing you the best with it!
Feeling overwhelmed is a secondary reaction to it that developed over time. Let's put it that way, there's been people that have not been as sensitive as my therapist an I've been in a few situations where people forced me to answer when I couldn't + forced eye contact etc., which didn't make it easier trying to express what you feel/have in your mind. Getting up and leave was the only way to escape these situations. Then, I was also bullied half my life. I think you get a better picture now.
I like your username btw, fellow plant friend :)
yeah, sounds familiar. I'd also say it's completely different than other situations where I'm usually lost for words, for instance if I need to react spontaneusly, delayed processing and such.
There are some things I just can't find the right words for and/or not being able to articulate any of the words that would express what I have in my head, even though I have a conception of what to say. For me it's about expressing emotions too. So I would begin 1, 2 words starting a sentence and then... no chance finishing it.
Usually my brain starts spinning quite intensely in these situations with either memories of similar past situations and thoughts about how to express what I'm trying to say, (kinda like overstimulation in mental images/thoughts leading to me not being able to think about what to actually do) or just turning completely blank, both in my head and verbally. Eye contact, definitely no.
I gave up on it over the years with people around me and avoid these topics and situations. However, my last therapist helped me a lot in this regard, as she always gave me the time I needed to find back to being able to speak again when it happened. Sometimes I sat there completely blank for minutes, just staring outside the window or at the walls, feeling panicky and the need to just jump up and leave the room. I actually did once, but felt really bad about it after as she was such a calm person that I usually always felt safe with. After that incident, and over time I learned to try and rephrase the initial sentence or try to express something else connected to the feeling I wanted to talk about, learning how to navigate the situation. So I guess there's a possibility to make some progress.
Great tip, thanks, I tend to overlook that option. My local library does offer audiobooks indeed but as I don't reside in a english-speaking country I highly doubt it would be available.
Discord, definitely!! It might be hard to ditch but it's worth trying. I was never a big fan of it so it was kinda easy yet I still miss being able to contact some people on there. But the more people continue using it, the harder it will be to change things.
Spotify and Chromium, I agree on both as well. Try the options mentioned above concerning Spotify. And yeah, Music streaming is a hard one... I have a dedicated mobile device for Music streaming platforms of this kind if I feel the itch as well as a modded ipod for on the go. Highly recommend getting into a habit of buying Music (digital/physical) and listening stuff you actually own on desktop. Simple cmus or sth will do the job.
Maybe Librewolf or other Firefox fork for Browser.
Edit: typo. Edit 2: I'd keep a chromium-based Browser of some sort, you might need it sometime for something. Just use different Browsers for different things.
Oder Ribiseltopfenstangerl!
I see. Hoped it would be available on some platform I use but that's unfortunately not the case, so I'd rather buy the book then. Just have a hard time reading anything else than books required for my job, and then,... I already got a few book recommendations concerning autism after my diagnosis earlier this year, so it would have been easy to just listen to it :D I'll dig through her stuff on other platforms however, so thanks for the recommendation! And if there's more great books/content to share, let me know, would be appreciated!!
Where can I find the audiobook? Sounds very interesting, might give it a listen!
Right, my bad, I though you had specific places in mind. It's a great idea however, I usually just walk around and explore areas without any real deatination or a phone in my hand.
Sounds great, let me know if you don't mind! I bought a newly published one a while back but it's not really what I'm looking for, but I also just had a disillusioning look at ebay and realized I probably can't even afford getting into collecting those books anyway, so I shouldn't, even if it's tempting... Maybe better to just stick with the Vinyl XD
yeah, that peace and tranquility. embraced by moss.
Reminds me a bit of a film scene in The Pointsman from 1986