The second verse of "Weird Al" Yankovic's song, Headline News, is about these two.
Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion And when she finally made it She saw some other girl who was better And so she hired some guy to Club her in the knee cap
Knife Goes In, Guts come out. That's what Osaka Seafood Concern's all about!
Spare my life, and I will AAAAHHHHH
30 Minutes Over Tokyo is the episode.
Also OP is right the references to Mr. Sparkle were not in this one.