duderium

The world has "fallen" to communism. The last liberals and fascists on Earth flee to Puerto Rico (sorry) and basically turn it into another Taiwan for a few months or years. The ruling class there maintains that it has suffered only temporary setbacks at worst and that victory is at hand. And besides, if you like communism so much, why don't you move to [the rest of the world]? And they aren't even real communists there anyway because they have not instantaneously transformed the planet into paradise. They're just befogging the masses, who are too stupid to understand that the best days of capitalism, imperialism, colonialism, and patriarchy lie ahead!

I'm just thinking about this because of the Yankee cope I'm seeing all over the place. Ukraine just needs more weapons and European soldiers, then it's bound to prevail against Russia, which is collapsing anyway. China is a heartbeat from balkanizing. Haiti is just run by a bunch of cannibal criminal gangs. Palestine can't possibly win. Etc.

Dude took off his shoes and then put them back on again twenty times before walking into his own home. When I was a kid I thought his show was fucking boring. I think libs are just pretending to love him because he was a civility republican. CMV.

PS: what the fuck is the deal with Lamb Chop’s Play-Along?

“You must be fun at parties.” Uh why would I want to party with Nazis?

“So edgy.” If I cared what liberals thought, I wouldn’t be a communist.

“You’re just a larper.” Larp it till you make it, am I right? Also, what have larpers ever done to you?

“Nazism and communism are the same.” Yes, Nazism is when you want to destroy Nazism forever rather than fund it the way you do.

We know they like to stick flags on everything. We've maybe all seen the Kelly cartoon where some guy complains that their neighbors only put up their flags for the fourth of July. But do they really notice if you don't have a flag on your house or your car? Also, what's the deal with reactionaries randomly removing their flags? A guy I know whose father or grandfather was probably in the klan took his flag down a month or two ago and I have no idea why. "Hunter Biden has tarnished our glorious nation's reputation" or something is probably the reason. I have another neighbor whose shitty wooden flagpole has lacked a flag since Biden won the election.

I've heard they put Blue Lives Matter stickers on their cars to get the police to leave them alone. But if you put a gun sticker on your car, will the police actually leave you alone, or think twice about pulling you over, or just blow you away because you were driving 5 MPH over the speed limit?

Bonus: I have a neighbor who has been flying a full-sized Ukrainian flag upside-down since February 2022.

I also once saw someone with a tiny house like sort of tucked behind everyone else's, but he managed to put a flagpole in his yard and get like, an American flag, an Israeli flag, and a Blue Lives Matter flag all on that pole. Very impressive

Yesterday I made the mistake of watching random comedians on youtube. One guy I saw had an audience of thousands of people in Australia, and he told nothing except painfully racist anti-China jokes. (Yes, it might have been the algorithm being like: "You like China? Well, howabout a comedian advocating genocide on China?") Everyone on hexbear knows that this is typical for comedians because the audiences at comedy shows tend to be drunk bourgeois scum, etc., etc.

But it's not just comedy. How many movies have you seen or books have you read where any of the characters, at any point, says something incredibly basic like: "capitalism bad, communism good." I'm not even sure Soviet or Chinese movies go that far (with the notable exception of Eisenstein's films...which were made before 1945). Plenty of works of art might imply that there is something corrupt about the military, police, or the powers-that-be, but they will never say that the system is the problem and that a better system exists. One very rare exception I can think of is The Battle of Algiers.

Also think about the dogshit novels Americans have to read in school: Animal Farm or To Kill A Mockingbird. The moral of both stories is basically: "Opposing the system is futile. Accept the system." Nabokov is hailed as the greatest novelist of the latter half of the 20th century, but he's basically a highbrow version of Ayn Rand, and repeatedly condemns communism by name in his books. We also know that the CIA had (and has) its fingers in every pie, and that the PMC also knows that it's not allowed to "get political," i.e., provide context. Even when it comes to classical Russian literature, Dostoevsky is probably the most popular in the USA, and the guy is a reactionary Christian monarchist who recycles the openings to his novels and is apparently nowhere near as popular in Russia.

I've just also been thinking about the greatest works of Statesian literature, how they are few and far between, how they were all written before 1945, and how they rarely were recognized for their greatness until long after their authors were dead. Steinbeck is one exception. The Grapes of Wrath is great (it was also written before 1945), but doesn't advocate for a better system. Poe and Melville are as good as the best writers from any other country, and Melville specifically inveighs against colonialism in his earlier novels, but both of these dudes were dead before they were recognized as titans. (Melville enjoyed some early success but then faded into obscurity long before he finished Moby Dick.) Are any post-1945 Statesian writers as good as Poe or Melville? Maybe just Octavia Butler, who was dead before she was a household name AFAIK. She advocates for communism in Parable of the Sower, but has to hide it behind mystical language ("God is change"). Sorry To Bother You is one possible cinematic exception, but it never goes beyond saying that the system sucks.

I'm wrapping up a trilogy of novels at the moment, and they are blatantly pro-communist, and I'm just preparing myself for the fact that they are almost certainly not going to be a success, not just because of the numbers involved (millions of books published every year), but because of the passionate anti-communism in western countries. These books don't have people saying "capitalism bad, communism good." But they do have workers and peasants forming Soviets (even though they aren't called Soviets), and I know from experience that even if as a writer you never turn to the camera and say "capitalism bad, communism good," readers will still pick up on the fact that something is wrong, from a capitalist perspective—that workers aren't capable of doing anything on our own, we need guidance from our enlightened masters, "human nature" is futile to oppose. I think there's just a dialectical materialist style of writing that liberals and fascists pick up on without necessarily knowing that they're picking up on it (because they spend their entire lives asleep).

Also I thought about this because I just saw and liked Trumbo, even though I was like: the blacklist never ended lol, where is my biopic about Paul Robeson, a Black colossus who never backed down from praising Stalin? Even if your job is dog shit picker upper (which I have done), you’ll lose that job if you praise Stalin.

And yes, this is a Arby's.

🤡

Seriously wtf, amerikkka now has three different flavors of fascist to choose from for president.

"The Keys to the White House is a checklist of thirteen true/false statements that pertain to the circumstances surrounding a presidential election. When five or fewer of the following statements are false, the incumbent party candidate is predicted to win the election. When six or more are false, the incumbent party is predicted to lose." (The keys correctly predicted that Trump would lose in 2020.)

Midterm gains: After the midterm elections, the incumbent party holds more seats in the U.S. House of Representatives than after the previous midterm elections. (false)

No primary contest: There is no serious contest for the incumbent party nomination. (RFK Jr. currently polling at 15% in the primary so probably true)

Incumbent seeking re-election: The incumbent party candidate is the sitting president. (true)

No third party: There is no significant third party or independent campaign. (true, although if West runs all the way to election day and earns five percent of the vote, this will be false (Democrats will also completely lose their fucking shit if this happens and Biden loses))

Strong short-term economy: The economy is not in recession during the election campaign. (true...for now)

Strong long-term economy: Real per capita economic growth during the term equals or exceeds mean growth during the previous two terms. (false I think?)

Major policy change: The incumbent administration effects major changes in national policy. (false)

No social unrest: There is no sustained social unrest during the term. (true I guess, but this could change rapidly)

No scandal: The incumbent administration is untainted by major scandal.

No foreign/military failure: The incumbent administration suffers no major failure in foreign or military affairs. (Afghanistan + Ukraine so false)

Major foreign/military success: The incumbent administration achieves a major success in foreign or military affairs. (false)

Charismatic incumbent: The incumbent party candidate is charismatic or a national hero. (false for sleepy joe)

Uncharismatic challenger: The challenging party candidate is not charismatic or a national hero. (false, Trump is the most charismatic Republican since Reagan)

I count eight falses. It's not lookin' good for joe. One of those falses is maybe debatable but the others probably aren't going to change from here to election day. We could have Trump winning the presidency from a prison cell and pardoning himself lol.

If so, how / why? Do you have any regrets?

I know the default emotional state for chuds is either anger or schadenfreude, but I’m wondering if anyone has noticed an uptick lately with their god emperor continuing to battle the deep state by repeatedly publicly humiliating himself as well as the latest covid comeback (although obviously covid never went anywhere). I’ve seen some chuds online predicting that the libs are going to “bring back” mask and vaccine mandates and lockdowns as though any of these policies was pushed on a national level to begin with. We all know that this is absolutely the last thing libs want to do and that it would be a disaster for Biden’s presidency for him to actually do something that might help anyone who isn’t a member of the bourgeoisie or one of their running dogs. Just wondering if it’s just me or if others have recent anecdotes of chuds acting unusually enraged.

Edit: anecdotally, I’m asking this because I was at the grocery store the other day around lunch time, it was crowded and people were hangry, and I usually try to get in there as early as possible to avoid the crowds (I am unemployed). I saw two chuds having separate public meltdowns. One was a white boomer handling every fucking last object in the sandwich aisle while complaining loudly about the prices. (“Where was this sushi made?” he said. “China???”) I had to get right next to that piece of shit to grab some sandwiches but I couldn’t say anything because then I would have gotten banned from the store. Then, as I was finishing up self-checkout, a white millennial walked past me and said, with a low voice: “you’re the one everyone hates,” presumably because I was masked. Since the pandemic’s beginning, this was the second time anyone had challenged my masking (the other time was a year or two ago when some white kids coughed at me while I walked past them outside—sorry to say it but some kids are not alright).

I know that the normal state for chuds is to be either actively or passively trying to destroy themselves and everything around them, but it’s not usually in my face like this. Libs are also not doing great despite having been in power across the country for years now. “Democrats are in power everywhere yet I still can’t stop thinking about how much I hate Putin/Trump and my kids won’t talk to me anymore because of Biden and the Democrats’ contributions to the climate apocalypse.” This is perfect fodder for BlueAnon basically—“it looks like our guy is a total fuckup, but he’s actually playing 87D kabbadi against the global Chinese conspiracy (or something).”

Hi everyone, we're running into the same arguments from our liberal/fascist friends over and over again, so I thought I'd put together a numbered list of responses to deal with the silly clichés they keep throwing at us. Every link listed here comes from an establishment source. For example, when encountering a lib who insists, despite having not read a word on the subject, that Nazism and communism are the same, feel free to direct them to number 8. Not that any of them will care, of course, since liberalism/fascism is based on mysticism rather than science, but I still thought I'd put this together to make responding to these people quicker and easier. Enjoy!

1. “Now I’m as left as they come, but these crazy tankies think it matters that Biden has dumped more than $75 billion on Ukrainian Nazis! What do you mean Ukraine was considered one of the most corrupt countries on Earth until virtually the day the so-called invasion began? What do you mean Ukraine was threatening to construct nuclear weapons if it wasn't allowed to join NATO shortly before the war began? Don’t tankies know that it is literally impossible to stop Nazism, that Nazis are everywhere, except in communist countries (for some mysterious reason) and that Nazis are also in Russia where rehabilitation of Nazism is legally banned? Don’t they know that Zelensky is Jewish and that Jews are physically incapable of supporting Nazis (what is the Jewish Ghetto Police? what is race science?)? Don’t they know about the Nazi founder of the Wagner Group who very curiously hasn’t been seen anywhere since 2016? Excuse me now while I have my eighth very public online meltdown for the day about that tennis player in China who vanished for a few hours. Don’t these fucking commies also know that history literally began five seconds ago and that the US Proxy War in Ukraine is definitely not a direct result of the USA succeeding in its near-century-long mission of annihilating the USSR, the said mission beginning when the USA invaded Russia unprovoked within months of the October Revolution?”

2. “Kill all landlords? That’s insane! We have to help the mom-and-pop landlords fight the evil woke globalist elite corporate satanist landlords. All violence is wrong except for the structural violence which funds my treats.”

3. “Capitalism always naturally rewards those who work the hardest and smartest, which is why I am a billionaire and not wasting my life arguing about subjects I have never read about with internet strangers who are curiously rather well-read on these subjects and constantly outmaneuvering me and exposing my embarrassing ignorance. But as we all know, intellectualism is a communist plot, nothing actually exists, everything is a matter of opinion, gravity for instance. I truly believe that reality isn’t real, which is why I don’t get angry at all when communists threaten to take away my treats. Because nothing actually exists I am happy to give you everything I possess. It is easy for me to describe the difference between capitalism and so-called crony capitalism because I know all about the history of capitalism and don't think that it has simply always existed everywhere in exactly the same form since the dawn of time.”

4. “Covid is mild (currently the fourth-leading cause of death according to the USA's notoriously under-counted statistics), the treatment is worse than the disease, we must purge society of the weak in order to make room for the strong (what’s eugenics? never heard of it. isn’t that something nazis did? but I can’t be a nazi because I’m the main character in the universe and a good person, while nazis knew the whole time that they were bad, this could never produce cognitive dissonance, I am a human psychology expert, I have read Jung, I have a meme saved somewhere listing logical fallacies), not being able to scream at waitresses at Applebees was so traumatic for me, I am blissfully unaware of how even a mild covid infection can damage practically every organ in your body (including your brain) and how each covid infection gives you a ten percent chance of contracting long covid, we need to go back to normal (the world of 2019 was a golden age!) and rescue the economy even though China’s economy has outperformed the USA’s by two or three times since the pandemic began and they instituted their draconian lockdowns which traumatized children who need to be in school where they can be subjected to casual indifference to deadly disease and profound intellectual stultification and abuse/neglect and white supremacist stochastic terrorism produced by the FBI as well as income inequality and capitalist alienation.”

5. “You think communism is good? Well what do you think about this you stupid tankie?” * posts article they haven’t even read which is written by the CIA or its puppets in the corporate press (Operation Mockingbird) which either quotes no sources, quotes “anonymous sources say,” quotes defectors who have been repeatedly shown to just make stories up about their home countries, quotes the Black Book of Communism which was disowned by its own authors (see Weisel Commission report page 48), or quotes bible-thumping CIA lunatic Adrian Zenz *

6. “Just because the CIA rescued over a thousand Nazis after WW2 and gave them new lives and hid them for decades and was never reformed and no one was every punished doesn’t mean that the CIA is untrustworthy! Everything magically got better at some vague point in the past and I will get angry and accuse you of incivility if you ask me to be more specific about when that point was!”

7. “Brigading is when anyone so much as raises an eyebrow after I express an opinion which would make Hitler blush (as a result of my marinating among the fascists of r*ddit for years without receiving the slightest pushback for my appalling beliefs, meanwhile it’s been years since anyone has even looked at me in the real world unless I have paid them to do so or unless they hope to inherit some money from me some day, this is the best of all possible worlds, it is completely natural!).”

8. “Nazism and communism are the same, this isn’t Holocaust denial what you are you talking about, it’s not as though Mussolini was funded by British intelligence in order to fight communism, it’s not as though Hitler was funded by American capital and drew inspiration from the USA’s genocidal extermination of Native Americans and enslavement of Africans, it’s not as though the Soviets destroyed the Nazis and did the vast majority of the fighting and killing and dying in World War 2 and liberated the concentration camps almost single-handedly and forced Hitler to commit suicide and signed the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact only after the allies had already appeased Germany and only after the Soviets had begged the allies for an anti-Nazi alliance, everything they did was because of Lend-Lease (that’s also why the French did so well in Vietnam, the USA fronted almost the entire cost of this totally justified colonial war), communism has failed everywhere it’s been tried, capitalism is human nature, the mitochondrial Adam and Eve were literally McDonald’s franchise owners, God is literally the great investor in the sky, I’m a highly rational atheist but I will get extremely angry if you accuse me of worshipping the market as though it is a god, that’s why I’m not desperately consuming every news story I can find about how any second now China is bound to collapse (it’s not as though a number of prominent media personalities have built their careers off of making these predictions and being wrong literally every single time for decades), plus China is actually capitalist anyway because everyone knows that more than a billion Chinese people are too fucking stupid to know when they are enslaved (I'm the least-racist person ever to walk the Earth), China is genociding Uyghurs even though there are no pictures of this (except for weird satellite photos which were totally not abused in the lead-up to the Iraq War) despite the genocide having apparently begun decades ago and despite the fact that we should be somewhat skeptical when the USA, which has murdered millions of Muslims around the globe in the last two decades (a claim nobody denies), makes these claims, especially in light of the fact that the corporate press lied repeatedly about WMDs in Iraq with absolutely zero consequences for anyone involved.”



9. • responds with ableist insult revealing a casual comfort with eugenics *

10. “Democracy is when you vote every two or four years for candidates who are all owned entirely by the bourgeoisie and when even your peaceful protests are met with murderous hordes of hogs. Any country which prevents American corporations from buying their elections is an evil totalitarian authoritarian dictatorship which ignores democracy and human rights!”

11. “Biden can’t actually do anything sweaty, he is literally the most powerless person ever to walk the Earth (even though Trump, who occupied the same office, was a totalitarian authoritarian dictator who ran roughshod over the precious institutions and norms of our hallowed democracy!), it’s not as though the Defense Production Act allows the president to seize and control any company and even set prices with the stroke of a pen, it’s not as though he could pack the courts to keep them from fucking with him, it’s not as though Nixon himself used this act during the stagflation crisis (which places fucking Biden to the right of Nixon!), it’s not as though this act was used at the beginning of the pandemic to force companies to produce enough ventilators (with zero pushback from the SCOTUS), everything good is impossible, just don’t pay attention to the fact that most of the fucked up shit that happens in the USA ONLY happens here! This is the best of all possible worlds and you should be locked up in an insane asylum and have the key thrown away if you even raise an eyebrow in response to my saying this!”

12. “If you care about trans people but think that dumping money on the police is bad then you are actually a fascist since fascism is anything I personally dislike, for example when my ex-wives go to court to force me to make alimony payments on time or when my children refuse to speak to me because I am a truly terrible human being.”

13. “I know all about Marxism because I am literally an expert on everything and read and understood every word of Capital in college which is why I can easily explain the difference between MCM and CMC for example without sloppily plagiarizing the first PraegerU results I find on google.”

14. “Socialism is when the government does stuff which is why all of us need to get down on our knees and suck the cock of the nearest police officer right now.”

15. “Imperialism/colonialism is when a country does something to undermine the USA and succeeds which is why the Russian Federation, which was virtually created by the Clinton administration, is imperialist and colonialist and why we must ally with the most appalling monsters ever to exist (the CIA) in order to destroy them. 'America bad, haha, imagine thinking that a country with hundreds of military bases around the world and one which freely admits to overthrowing countless governments going back almost two centuries (the most recent official regime change was Pakistan in 2022 according to leaked cables) has the slightest influence on global affairs.'”

If so, how is it going wrt covid and everything else? Nonparents feel free to answer if you know any kids going to school and what their situation is like. Teachers also please chime in.