Unironically somewhere in the north eastern Midwest. Either just south or north of the great lakes. Our winters are vastly more mild than they were when I moved here 10 years ago and there's tons of fresh water and arable land. We aren't immune to heat waves and wacky growing season changes, but we don't get the drought and wildfires they do out west or south, nor any of the extreme storms from the Atlantic.
Biggest threat is flooding, but river flooding is more easily mitigated than other extreme weather. My ass is staying in the boring part of the continent.
New account pushing a confirmed-to-be-false narrative only backed by Russian orgs and far-right politicians? It's more likely than you think!