”crossdressing”
Dressing comfortably. Being yourself.
I would just be a woman by now
You are a woman.
I’m a decade older than you. None of the women in my family can take estrogen, even for birth control, due to clotting issues. I can’t speak to what HRT is like, I’m just here to say that it’s not for everyone and you don’t need it to be a girl. You already are a woman. Trans people have existed for all of human history. HRT is extremely recent. There are many valid ways to be trans.
Your language implies that you don’t think that a transition is valid without some high-tech medical/pharmaceutical intervention. This is not an uncommon view. Unfortunately, the historically traditional ways of transitioning have been systematically snuffed out by Abrahamic extremists over the past several centuries. I for one would love it if more of the trans community embraced reviving these traditional transition methods. I often feel very alone trying to explore alternative options because all of the other trans people jump straight to the drugs. I get it: it’s super easy and effective.
I don’t fully agree with your assessment of the political landscape. The major problem with HRT is that once you’re on it, you need it or else you’ll get bone issues and premature menopause. Unstable political landscapes mean that the health of many trans people can be seriously impacted by laws changing access to drugs. Being hooked on drugs makes you dependent on fragile healthcare systems that Trumpists have already demonstrated that they are willing to fuck with (look at Roe). There are other health impacts that should not be downplayed and which you should take seriously with your doctor. That said, HRT makes “passing” easier, which means you are less likely to be the victim of political violence, and it can make you a less obvious target for hate crimes.
If you choose to go on HRT, I’ll be jealous but happy for you. Don’t treat the decision as a necessary prerequisite to being a trans woman. If it’s right for you, and you’ve carefully made sure that you can live with the medical impacts and dependency on a crumbling healthcare system in an unstable political landscape, go for it.
Resources are few and far between. It often involves taking inspiration from other cultures.
South Asian cultures have kept some of their older gender diverse traditions. Hijras and Metis are rebounding after colonial oppression.
Native American tribes have a wide variety of gender diverse identities, often grouped under the 2-spirit label. Details about them are difficult to find, as they are often guarded against white people who have a history of sexualizing, “studying”, or otherwise objectifying facets of Native American culture.
The Talmud (Jewish holy book for training Rabbis) lists eight genders, four of which are trans. In Aramaic times, the Jews thought it important for their spiritual leaders to understand and accept gender diverse members of their communities. More about “how to accept them if you’re their rabbi” than about “how to live as one yourself”.
What these examples have in common is community/cultural support for the specific practices. It’s a lot easier to do in the context of an understanding community and with a group of like-minded people working together to find tactics to fit in within that cultural context. Would be nice.
Pagan European mythology also has a lot of examples of gender diverse and transgender expressions. These are sometimes quite fantastical and not always helpful for daily life in today’s world.
Strategies like orchiectomies can reduce testosterone, and have been practiced across the world since prehistory. Anecdotally, overmasturbation can achieve similar results, if only temporarily. Just keep going until it starts to hurt a little and won’t get hard for a few days and enjoy being clear headed. Kind of a time commitment, though, and you maybe can hurt yourself (??? I’m not a doctor). Bottom surgery is permanent and doesn’t make you dependent on the medical system: it’s one-and-done. It’s an ancient practice, with examples dating back to some of the earliest written records, including of folks who just take matters into their own hands (mad respect).
I wish I knew of more. A larger community seeking non-pharmaceutical solutions would be more effective at finding solutions than me as an individual. I’m not fully satisfied with my own solutions, and I’m in a phase where I’m trying to adjust them. In another year and a half or so I’ll have a chance at reliable healthcare that isn’t dependent on an employer that has actively interfered with my journey and has expressed and exercised interest in blocking progress when I’ve gone to the “company store” joke of a medical center. Tying healthcare to employment is a broken and inhuman system.
Sorry if this is getting kind of dark. Solutions are only as good as the cultural context that might support them. You clearly understand that already in the context of your own thought process behind choosing whether or not to go forward with HRT.