It sounds like you are volunteering for the brave mission to discover moon berries. You will be remembered as a hero.

An alien made human trap akin to human made mouse traps, except they aren't baiting us with any delicious food.

We've detected you aren't using genuine Sony toner, your games are locked until you can replace the toner and renew your service warranty.

There's a great initiative going on right now trying to hold Ubisoft and other game publishers accountable for shitty practices like this by trying to petition governments from a few different nations to create legal protections for people to continue to have access to their games they purchased after the publisher decides to abandon a game. If you live in an EU country especially, you might be able to help sign a petition still: https://www.stopkillinggames.com/

It seems this will get played off as if catching a case of "suicide" is like having a head cold. How far off the mark would some official statement about it be from: "This is a totally normal occurrence and happens from time to time. It's probably not contagious and there is nothing to worry about. Some people just happen to have worse symptoms and stronger reactions than others if they do catch it. Here are some safety guidelines to avoid catching it yourself..."

Insert Seto Kaiba from YGOTAS joke here.