Great, now there's coffee all over my computer monitor.

I want the jalapenos they have at the Mexican Costcos.

I was really expecting a much more ethnic sounding name than Dwight Jackson.

Not really necessary anymore. If they weren't dead before, once someone has gone through the modern embalming process they will very definitely be dead afterward.

Well... He did make the character Humbert Humbert say it, though.

"Frigid gentlewomen of the jury! I had thought that months, perhaps years, would elapse before I dared to reveal myself to Dolores haze; but by six she was wide awake, and by six fifteen we were technically lovers. I am going to tell you something very strange: it was she who seduced me."

This bullshit was basically my first experience with Windows 11 when I got a new PC last year. Literally, "Why is my internet so slow? What's this OneDrive thing? Oh, holy shit fucking stop Jesus Christ!"

Just automatically started uploading everything on my hard drive to an account I didn't set up, without even a prompt telling me it was happening, and no obvious way to make it stop. I didn't even know Windows had added a cloud storage option. I actually had to completely uninstall OneDrive to finally make it stop.

I might have liked having a native backup service in Windows if it was like, "Hey look at this handy cloud storage tool we've added to Windows! Would you like to pick some files to save?" But as it is, it might as well just be another piece of spyware.

There's a big long list of reasons why I hate Windows 11, but this OneDrive shit is the thing that's making me think maybe it's time to ditch Windows for good.

If this dude figured out how to lift a full size duty weapon out of a retention holster using nothing but a plastic dino-grabber then he deserves to keep those guns.

It must be amazing to have that much money and influence.

Coincidentally the podcast I'm listening to as I type this is talking about a man sitting on death row who was convicted solely on the testimony of one "bite mark analyst" who was later shown to be an absolute fraud in a field that is already highly dubious at best. The appeals court in his case feels that just because the "expert" was wrong in all his other cases doesn't necessarily mean he was wrong in his. So that's cool.

No. That sounds like wage theft. If my boss pulled something like that I'd be on the phone with my state's department of labor so freakin' fast. If you worked the hours they have to pay you for it.

Even if it weren't illegal, it'd be a big flashing neon sign saying, "We will screw you over every chance we get, and you will be nothing but miserable working here."

Student: "Hey, a shortcut! Let me first just walk around the long way so I can measure the length of the other two sides, multiply those lengths by themselves, add them together, and find out how much extra walking I've saved myself by taking the shortcut. Boy, this shortcut sure is saving me a lot of effort. Hooray Pythagoras!"

So the guy who notoriously despises public transit failed to come through on his promise to revolutionize public transit?

Wow.

I mean, who could have seen that coming?

I'm not surprised. I've heard stories as far back as 2015 or 2016 about people storming out in the middle of their pastor's sermon because the pastor directly quoting Jesus' sermon on the mount was too "woke."

Mark my words: if conservatives can no longer advance their cause under the guise of Christianity, they won't abandon conservatism. They will abandon Jesus.