You're gonna want to sit down on this

Oof my heart.

Hard truth for folks to understand is people actually fuck because it's fun and a healthy part of a relationship.

This is what happens when you have no alternatives left to manage accidents and don't want to live like a nun or monk.

I can confirm this story because I was the boat.

If I looked like this, I'd have to beat the women back with a stick!

Because they are filthy peasants of course and I can't have them touching my finery. Also my wrists would be too delicate to wield a stick, so I'd have a boy for that.

Welp better stop eating beans and farting for the rest of my life to help do my part and recoup the damages. All this world destroying pollution is my fault as a consumer, not the producers.

Boeing could plead it was just edging, because he never got off completely. Knocked his socks off though.

Why have 2 people do 2 jobs, when you can have 1 frightened employee do 2 jobs or maybe more.

Sometimes you can find instructions for different ways to cook a pizza on the back of the box. For example I checked mine and underneath airfry and oven instructions there was instructions for "nuclear blast"...

Nuclear Blast

Remove pizza from all packaging and shrink wrap. Be sure to remove and discard the cardboard tray.

Place pizza on metal baking tray within a clear path of the blast source. Do not use glass cookware as it might shatter.

About 5 miles out from the blast source. Find a sturdy structure, like a rock deeply embedded into the ground.

Place pizza on the tray and tilt tray to a 45 degree angle on the rock. Angling toward the blast to evenly cook.

Bake for 5secs for 15 kiloton yield atomic bombs or until pizza is golden brown. Grab pizza and run to shelter before the shockwave hits. If the shockwave hits your pizza it will disintegrate.

All atomic bombs cook differently, so be sure to keep an eye on your pizza as it cooks and not the blast. Pizza is done when the cheese is melted and edges are golden brown.

It's America, we count shit in stars and stripes.