HexaSnoot

I'm used to fiction where one character is always at the focus.

PDFs and audio would help. I not good at finding them.

I've done lots of radical body positivity and like my body when fat. But I can't bring myself to like fat on my face.

I grew up not liking my face. When I look in the mirror, I sometimes try imagining the Fallout 4 video game menu where you have to customize a face in fine pixels. Most people's natural faces in real life would look stellar in the game. Natural-looking is simply stellar in Fallout.

This method seems to stop working for me when I notice the fat on my face. It makes me sad.

When people are looking for friends. Someone told me it was rude that a person I just met left after 20 minutes. They say at an hour is courteous unless something horrific happens.

(It may be worth noting that I look female, this person is male, and we exchanged contact info before I mentioned my boyfriend later in the conversation.)

It's been several days and no contact.

And are they generally far left?

I think hexbear has them. Is it a connection thing where cookies spot other cookies? Do tracking cookies matter when it comes to insurance and therapy sites/apps? I'm thinking about therapy that I saw advertised on YouTube, and I bet they're somehow sketchy. And their app requires the use of third party tracking and cookies.

I just don't want these sites/apps to see I'm a communist.

Tips to make friends without spending money are welcome. I've spent years in a city without making friends.

Luckily even though I'm a minority in America, I'm not a minority in my city. :) It's filled with people of my ethnicity. So I have more opportunities to be closer with my people, and I want do the right things to get there.

Btw they don't have to be my ethnicity. Just wanna make friends to begin with. My dream is to meet cool communists around here. It's a minority city, and I figure I can't be the only one.

I'm curious how that could work. That peaks my interest because I've known people who have autism and seem great at socializing. I don't have autism, but I'm very socially awkward, and if autistic people can do that I find it inspirational for my own socializing journey.

A podcaster on Radio Free Totebag casually said it, and idk if it was just as a passing joke, or if they were speaking factually. They mentioned a therapist not liking that they still say they're autistic when it's an old diagnosis.

I'm more exposed to American conservatism. And even here I barely understand it. I used to be Christian, but I left the religion before I realized I was bi, and before I knew genderfluidity and trans people existed.

I guess I'd have to know why individual religious groups, countries, cities,(etc...) have anti-LGBTQ beliefs. Maybe there are no blanket statements that properly address it for the entire world.

I move like I don't have a physical body. As a result, I bump into things a lot and trip. I try to go through objects like a ghost, sometimes fully expecting it'll work. Like a bee trying to leave a closed window. It happens most when I'm doing chores.

I grew up rushing to take care of my abusive family every second of my childhood, and was made to feel my self care had no significance. Even if the care is as small as taking a moment to see if something is in the way, so I don't bump into it. Like a corner while I'm rounding a corner. And even if I notice something's in my way, I will try to crash through it repeatedly before the throbbing of resulting pain reminds me to move it out my way first. The throbbing has to grow intense enough too. I might accidentally hit my head on an object 10 times in less than an hour before I watch my head. (TW: domestic violence) This is probably because my family beat me daily and I dissociate from physical pain.

Examples of things I've been told that help me understand my physical presence:

• This might sound weird, but "pretend" you have a body. This way you act like you have one.

• What are some things in your room? How big are they? What's the biggest thing in your room? How big is it? All those things thake up physical space. Just like those things, you take up physical space.