this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Granted. The Monkey's Paw is now replaced by an alternative wishing mechanism that is slightly more evil- it had previously been wished out of existence by the Paw, you see.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Granted. The Monkey's paw has never existed, and nobody has ever wished on it. This includes your wish. So the monkey's paw is never erased, which means you wish for this, and on and on.

You've created a time paradox!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Granted, monkeys never evolved. One monkeys hand was never severed and cursed. A different species took its place in its ecological niche. A large lizard gets its appendage cut off and cursed.

You come into possession of a cursed lizard claw that grants you 4 wishes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Mouselemming 2 points 1 year ago

It never existed.