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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Channel_Practical on 2023-07-02 04:46:51+00:00.
TW: Talk of infant death While in university, I worked as an EMT. I saw a lot of awful things, and a lot of shocking ones, but the worst call I ever saw was a mother who had accidentally rolled on top of her baby while sleeping and suffocated him. By the time she woke up and called us and we arrived, there were no signs of life. I will never forget the sound of that mothers screams as long as I live. Anyway, fast forward about six years and my husband and I just had our first baby, a little girl. My pregnancy had several complications, and things were very stressful. I started having nightmares that I rolled over on my own baby before she was even born, I used to wake up screaming and sobbing. My SIL has always been a huge bed sharing advocate, always pushing the “Safe Sleep 7”. I’ve never tried to discuss it with her because I know I won’t change her mind, I’ve watched others try. Anyway, during my third trimester she saw me online shopping for a bassinet and told me that it was a waste of money and would turn into an “expensive dirty clothes hamper”. I kept the conversation light and just said, “I guess we’ll see.” When baby girl was born, I sent a pic of her swaddled in her bassinet her first night home to my husbands family group chat and SIL responded, “Yeah, I remember swearing I wouldn’t bed share lol. Just wait.” Well, it’s been 4 months and we’ve still stuck with safe sleep. It hasn’t been easy, as my daughter is a pretty rough sleeper. I mentioned to my MIL the other day how much I was looking forward to being able to start sleep training soon (before anyone loses their shit, relax, we will not be doing cry-it-out, there’s other ways) so that way we can all get some more sleep. My SIL was in the other room but the door was open and she chimed in, “Idk why you’re fighting bed sharing so hard. Just stop torturing yourself by trying to avoid admitting you were wrong.” Idk if it was the lack of sleep, the stress of my recent work project or the tone of her voice, but I kind of snapped. I turned around and said, “Yeah, well, seeing one dead baby from bed sharing was enough for me.” She got quiet, then freaked out, shouting that I was basically accusing her of endangering her children and started screaming that she’d been bedsharing with all three of them and they were perfectly fine. My husband is backing me 110% but his family told me bringing up a dead baby was a low blow. Maybe it WAS a little bit harsh, but I can’t even begin to explain how that one call kinda messed me up. So, AITA?