UPDATE:
I got it working by messing around in the rescue mode. I selected some option which fiddles with the EFI boot and makes it accessible to the boot loader. So that's cool. Now everything works.
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Distributions include the Linux kernel and supporting system software and libraries, many of which are provided by the GNU Project. Many Linux distributions use the word "Linux" in their name, but the Free Software Foundation uses the name GNU/Linux to emphasize the importance of GNU software, causing some controversy.
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UPDATE:
I got it working by messing around in the rescue mode. I selected some option which fiddles with the EFI boot and makes it accessible to the boot loader. So that's cool. Now everything works.
You should edit the post instead
It's the classic "Nevermind, I figured it out" right now lol.
Are you sure you installed the bootloader?
Looks like you need to configure your UEFI boot entry for Debian.
Classic "I wiped my ESP." Reinstall GRUB or whatever bootloader Debian uses from a chroot.