this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
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grimdank

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like this misrepresents the chaos gods, except maybe Tzeentch.

Khorne: Drown your depression in HATE!

Nurgle: That's just how some people are, you'll learn to live with it. (Unstated, "Because I'll give you no choice.")

Slaanesh: What you need, is a distraction. We have sex, food, drugs, or art.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nurgle: That’s just how some people are, you’ll learn to live with it. (Unstated, “Because I’ll give you no choice.”)

But people love their Papa Nurgle, because he cares*

*caring includes being inflicted with the most horrific diseases imaginable, and some unimaginable

Slaanesh: What you need, is a distraction. We have sex, food, drugs, or art.

I mean, Slaanesh does say here "There are many pleasures waiting for you to experience."

I feel like Khorne is the weakest one here.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Interesting, I think it's the most accurate. He'd just follow up with "unless you let it win."

[–] Ashyr 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How can the emperor be so smart, brilliant, etc… and so obviously terrible in all the soft skills needed to actually enact all his genius plans?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] julietOscarEcho 7 points 1 year ago

Fuckin ouch. Too close to the truth.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

The Emperor of mankind is autistic. It really was the next step in evolution.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

OP this is clearly some heresy. The Emperor ask his fellow men to rise above their base desires and embrace the highest virtues, while the gods of chaos only seek to bring you to down to their level.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is heresy. Stop this chaos propaganda and repent.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I'm of the thought that Slaanesh would encourage you to indulge and dive deep into your depression. You'd begin to find comfort in avoiding anything that worsens the accompanying anxiety until one day you find something that lets you avoid it all and even feels good in ever increasing excess. Eventually all that matters is your quest to get more of that something leaving behind a wake of chaos as you leave your job and destroy your family, community, and yourself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I didn't know you degenerates had anime wifu chaos gods too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Just man up" doesn't work in the long run at all. You will die to a heretic before you realize it though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

No one has ever accused Jimmy Space of being a good dad.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Not Big E the wrestler I presume?