this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How the fuck can a faucet be smart? It's a valve! It turns one way, or it turns the other way! It is only slightly less dumb than the counter top!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

But what if the valve was actuated electronically with no manual access?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah but what if you could make it worse? What if you could add the garbage motion sensor that takes ten hand waves to get working? Or add a touch screen that showed you visually how hot or cold the water was and could also show you ads?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No, we sell water usage data to water companies, so they know when to put water in the pipes!

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And this is why KNX and Home Assistant are a good idea.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (5 children)

It's like the forcefields in the brig on Star Trek. Extremely stupid to not also have bars as a backup in case they fail.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

I don't understand the idiots who insist on unredundant designs. Especially when it comes to handles. They've literally killed people with that decision.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Terminally online, even for #2

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[–] starman2112 15 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Day 3,801 of thanking God I was born a Luddite

Anyone who thought their toilet would be improved by having an internet connection deserves this

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

Maybe it needs a connection cause it takes a picture of your feces and sends it to an AI analysis service. If anomalies are detected, it tells you that you should take the stool sample to a laboratory for further study, then lets you flush. Poof, smart toilet. I could see people with too much money buying this.

Edit: Thought about it some more.. why stop at feces images? Why not also have a high resolution camera pointed at your anus taking crowning shots and analyzing those. Tell users if anythings wrong. The future is ~~bright~~ brown boys. The future is brown.

Edit2: You could even have motion based security.. alert if anyone broke in through your bathroom. Cameras in toilets people! What could go wrong?

Edit3: Hear me out. User controlled bidet mode + anus camera. Take out your phone and clean your ass in first person. Score points if you clean your whole ass and compete on an online scoreboard. Tech sure is amazing.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

"oNe dAy wE wiLL aLL livE iN a sMaRt hOmE. tEcHnOLoGy aLwAyS iMpRoVeS"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

"Dumb" is the new "smart".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

And yet I hear dumbshits bragging all time about how alexa controls my (insert thing that definitely does not need automation here).

These sort of people never think beyond tomorrow and it shows.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What's "Skynet" mode, lol?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Footage from a robot in skynet mode:

1000023712

!it's from the movie Runaway 1984!<

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

they can always ask chatgpt how to fix the problem

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Home assistant everything is a yaml away

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