this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Star Trek

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

Lisp. All is Lisp.

Data's entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.

Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior's Language!

Vulcans exclusively use APL.

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.

Cardassians use Haskell because they're evil.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Holy shit you win, lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

That's what the Pakled use. The best of them actually use QuickBasic to "make it go faster".

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you'd think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'll just add that Data was previously built as a Vi plugin, but it was evil, so Doctor Soong disassembled it and shut it down. A lot of trouble could have been saved it Dr Soong had learned how to actually exit Vi.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Evil as in emacs evil-mode?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The Q continum uses forth.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.

After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

@bloopernova Wouldn't the Vulcans prefer Prolog?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Have you seen how people do programming? We see lots of it in Voyager around holograms. It's basically today's AI programming assistants on steroids. everything probably uses some fucking 300 years JavaScript as a basis, and that's why everything keeps breaking all the time.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really want to see an episode of Lower Decks where the captain watches engineers write programs, comes to the conclusion that "programming is just talking to the computer -- I can do that" and fires all the engineers (or transfers them to other functions.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Thanks, I read it in Freeman's voice.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Yeah they just tell the computer what they want. They're prompt engineers hundreds of years in the future. Programming, replicator, holodeck, lights in the quarters, whatever. Makes you wonder what all the button pushing is on the bridge. Maybe because it's quieter than everyone talking over each other?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Thank you for plausibly explaining every holodeck episode. That's canon for me now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

This is simply too good...

[–] OrganicMeatbag 25 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

lieutenant commander data structures.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know it’s JavaScript

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The only example given on Memory Alpha is a decompiled section of StuxNet https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Programming_code so that implies that C and C++ are both still in use

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Polarity reversal

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not a language, but isn't there some beta canon somewhere that states that LCARS is a derivative of Linux or something?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Waiting for an engineer to pull up holo-Torvalds to debate C vs rust the way they pull up holo-Einstein to argue relativity.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

@ZenkorSoraz To paraphrase a developer from the ‘80s: “I don't know what the language of the future will look like, but I know it will be called Fortran.”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

If it's the original series, one has to assume that whatever programming is done, is done on a teletype. Nowhere in Star Trek:TOS is there a screen with words on it, because when the show was made... screens with words on them weren't how you got info from a computer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Rust. Everything is eventually becoming crabs.

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