I hate that this is satire but also pretty much true. Men are not generally socialized to recognize uncomplicated, unsexual fondness for a woman.
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Eh, I'm just aplatonic. I don't get anything from friendship and I generally don't understand it. It makes it very difficult to date.
Do you mean aplotinic with promising sexual partners (presumably women)? or, are you generally aplotinic, as in you lack interest in friendships with anyone?
-- Jenny Nicholson, "The Last Bronycon"
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This reads a bit like satire. Really good satire!
The "girlfriend-zone" is a word im stealing from this...
It's both satire and a reversal of the same experience.
She's being too nice.
It's the Fuck Zone,and too many guys put all the women in it who aren't in the Mom Zone or the Bitch Zone (and there's some overlap there).
just don't break both your arms, apparently that causes an expansion of the fuck zone
Oh, it's definitely satire, making fun of "nice guys" who complain that they've been "friendzoned".
The horror, friendship!
but I'm NICE! How couldn't she love me?
Congrats on meeting the bare minimum of being a decent human, fucko.
Yup, you're nice but are you interesting and fun to hang with?
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Hopefully as they age they realize the friend zone never existed and these people either never saw them as potential mates/dates or they did and the guy did something to change that.
Eh i would say the friend zone absolutely exists.
My wife tried to friend zone me early in our relationship. She wanted to date around and still be friends with me. I told her that wasnt ok with me because i had stronger feelings for her than that and id be miserable. I cut ties.
A few months later she asked me on a date out of the blue. I spoke my peace that to me, this was a real date. Well, that was almost 13 years ago and we just had our 9th wedding anniversary
I refer you to the second part “or the guy did something to change that”. You walking away made her reconsider how she valued you.
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I think it is satire... I realized once I read the bolded "it's just how they're wired, biologically." But yes indeed, very good satire.
I have an opposite problem. When I (I'm a guy btw) was in school, I sometimes just want to have friends but whenever I talked to girls, I worry that girls would just think I have some other motive (which it seems to me like every boy in my class do just want romantic relationships). Like maybe I'm asexual/aromantic, but I never wanted those types of relationships, I prefer a long lasting friendship.
(I don't have much friends either way, regardless of gender; current amount of friends is: zero; because I just stopped talking to people after highschool, oh well 🤷♂️)
I (straight male) always found it easy to connect with girls, but I was also raised in a very feminist family (despite my mother being nominally conservative).
Dating is a lot of work and vulnerability and an attempt at 'clicking' on many more levels than friendship. It definitely wasn't that I wasn't interested in dating (I very much was), but 'Gorl fun AND pretty' just wasn't enough to automatically spark my interest in romance. 'Gorl fun' meant possible friend; 'Gorl pretty' was most girls, because girls pretty.
I got spontaneously voted the most handsome boy in the class when I was in 10th grade though. Always burnished that particular memory on the Altar of Ego.
God, that final bit. I was a resident assistant for my dorm in college for a year. Didn't date anyone that year. Had plenty of crushes, including plenty from the dorm. At the end of the year, my coworkers (female RAs) were like, "yeah we were all so surprised you didn't go out with anyone, like, half the girls here were in love with you." And I just stared into the middle distance, "and you didn't think to tell me???"
"We thought you knew!"
"I DID NOT"
How were you supposed to know? If half the girls acted the same then how could you know that anything was afoot?
Never really thought about it that way, but that's a decent point.
Gender norms make things so fucking hard XD
Yeah. It all worked out. Married a nice person, have a kid, the whole deal. But god I could not read the room for YEARS.
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That was pretty much it for me with a few different female friends. It wasn't so much "hey you're hot and I wanna sleep with you rather than just be friends" it was "hey, I really enjoy spending time with you and I'm happy being around you, but I've been down this road before and I know it probably ends when you get a new boyfriend so... maybe I can be that boyfriend and we can continue to enjoy spending time together"
Same man. A lot of this just boils down to poor communication between the sexes
I ended up marrying my best (girl)friend from high school. We both went into it wanting friendship, were attracted to each other (while in relationships), and ended up getting pushed together by a mutual former friend.
I honestly think this was the best way for this to develop, because we were already close and good friends before we dated, and didn't try to make a relationship out of it.
Hey, as a flavour of aro ace myself the feelings of not wanting those types of relationships and not knowing specifically took a long time to figure out. If you want to talk about it, you can DM me or come over to [email protected] or [email protected] there are slao aromantic communities on lemmy as well.
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Solution: Be unattractive.
Alternate solution: don’t be attractive
I love friend-zoning people. I’ve got, like, ten friends meow.
Make sure to check the food supplies though. Starvation is the highest risk when overcrowding the friendzone.
Oh..... shhhhiiiiiiiiiiit........
be gay
That has mixed success for various women in my experience.
dark