this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
610 points (99.4% liked)

People Twitter

5518 readers
1199 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 135 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.

Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago

This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 87 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

"Thinky thingy fucky wucky talky slowly"

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.

Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I like to explore all the angles before committing to a decision

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This looks like the right one.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Depends on context. If it's after a bad blunder it's probably a poor reply, because it makes it seem like you're trying to cover it up.

"I need my coffee" has never failed me!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".

In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."

In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."

In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."

This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"

"But today is Wednesday"

"I call it third Monday"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.

I am too burnt out today.

I can't focus on that right now.

I am not functional enough for that.

I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."

I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Then there's me. Who's not smart AND my brain is fried. AMA

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.

[–] Sabre363 12 points 2 weeks ago

I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"

It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Think no. Brain not good.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

I work smarter not harder

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I've seen

I am at capacity

And

My head is full

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

"Thank you for your patience"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

"I'm having a 4th Monday this week"

load more comments
view more: next ›