Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.
Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.
this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.
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The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.
I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action
This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."
"Thinky thingy fucky wucky talky slowly"
What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.
Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.
I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.
I like to explore all the angles before committing to a decision
This looks like the right one.
Depends on context. If it's after a bad blunder it's probably a poor reply, because it makes it seem like you're trying to cover it up.
"I need my coffee" has never failed me!
"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."
It's 4 PM, Ron.
In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".
In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."
In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."
In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."
This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.
To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.
“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”
“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”
"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"
"But today is Wednesday"
"I call it third Monday"
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I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.
I am too burnt out today.
I can't focus on that right now.
I am not functional enough for that.
I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.
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Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!
I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that
Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.
"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"
"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"
"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."
I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea
"It's been a long day."
Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.
I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message
We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)
I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.
"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"
It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.
Think no. Brain not good.
(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)
"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."
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I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.
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I work smarter not harder
When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"
I've seen
I am at capacity
And
My head is full
"Thank you for your patience"
"I'm having a 4th Monday this week"
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