this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older", so I don't have to suffer through this.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Isn't that better anyway? Inheritance makes the world less fair, as children of rich parents will get a huge advantage. If that money is instead spent, it hopefully distributes over society again instead if staying in the rich families.

It's obviously not that black and white, getting some money is a great help to you get people. And obviously a parent will want to help their children, that's totally fair. But as a larger trend it doesn't seem like a bad thing to me.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

My dad just died destitute and my mother will probably have nothing when she passes. I’m ok with that, I am my own person. People complaining about losing out on inheritance are fucking spoiled brats. “ you spent the money you worked for? Boo hoo hoo, I wanted your money though “

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

"We aren't gonna give you any inheritance"

"I'm not gonna give 2 fcks about you when you become too old to care for yourselves"

I'm not saying that my family's like this but sounds fair to me...

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 hours ago

I was sitting in the room while my friend's dad was having a argument with his horrible dad. The horrible dad threatened to write him out of his will, and my friend's dad respond, "Why do you think I'd want 1/6th of fuck all anyway?"

I wouldn't be so blunt with my mother about things, but every time she talks about inheritance I encourage her to just spend the money on herself. Anything will be spilt between 7 kids overall (3 hers, 4 my late step dad). She is holding on to an expensive ring because my very well off, money hungry sister, has basically demanded it, so I'm working behind the scenes to try get her to sell it so she can invest in making her last few years that much easier.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

In the same way that we should stop consuming media that blames everything on millennials, we should stop consuming media about how uniquely difficult it is for millennials.

Complaining about the younger generation, and the younger generation complaining that they have it uniquely difficult, has been the experience since the invention of teenagers. It was my experience, and it'll be the same experience when millennials are my age.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Lol I had this convo with my parents, I told them it's their money and I don't expect to get anything.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I will get stuff because that's what my parents own. They don't have large amounts of liquid cash but my dad owns his house and my mom owns lots of antique furniture (passed down from her family) and jewelry (she has a problem with buying shiny gold and silver pieces). But there's also 8 of us kids so the likelihood is that we each won't get much in the way of any real inheritance even from what they do have.

It's easier for most everyone involved to just let them live out their lives using what they have earned along the way. So I told my parents pretty much the same thing. Take care of yourselves. We'll be alright.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

Same, we will sell the house and other assets but it won't be life changing.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

I was sexually/otherwise abused by my mother for most of my life. When I brought it up to family, I was basically told to shut up about it/“go to therapy.” They spent thousands torturing me in troubled teen facilities, and provided me with nothing for college (which I paid for with multiple jobs and sex work.)

I will never own a house. I spent almost two years after my divorce to just be able to afford an apartment. My family has never valued me - I will not give them the comfort they denied when it is the end. My entire life has been a hell.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that. Wish I could offer you better help than, condolences and understanding from the other side of the internet.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Mine didn't. Gave it all to my golden child sister.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

No one should expect to inherit anything when their loved ones die.

The worst people are those that are too lazy to build something on their own, but sit around praying for their parents death so they can inherited and live an easy life.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Lewis Carroll has an interesting piece about that. Brings up the point that if someone works hard to benefit the community, and their wealth represents the response of the community to repay that person's work, perhaps it's not unreasonable that that person's request is, "repay it to my children," i.e. inheritance.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 hours ago

My aunt talked her mom out of kitchen remodel because it's going to cost so much (that she'll get smaller ineritance then) while my grandmom, who already spends most of her time alone at home then can't even spend her savings to make her surroundings a bit nicer.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older"

man I feel that. It's like raising a teenager.

"don't do that, it'll infect your PC."

"don't buy from there your card info will be stolen."

"no, Biden isn't going to round us up into camps."

"now we have to call and get you a new debit card."

"please don't buy so much junk food....why? because you have diabetes."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

please don’t buy so much junk food…why? because you have diabetes

This one hit too close to home. My mum has diabetes, dad is close to it, I can't get them to stop eating sweets

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 hours ago (4 children)

There’s an odd mentality that you just need to dose more insulin, no big deal, when eating poorly with diabetes. Understanding is sometimes the problem.

Here’s a better way to think about it in terms of body damage over time.

Think of sugar as fuel, because it is. When you have diabetes you lack the capacity to regulate the concentration and intensity of that fuel once you ingest it. You can add other things to the mix that can and will help (insulin and various oral agents) but the efficiency and immediacy of the inherent system simply isn’t there when you have diabetes.

Think of excess sugar in the blood as a caustic fuel that slowly (speed varies by individual as well as food consumed) burns out the vasculature (blood vessels) over time.

This burn out due to excess fuel is why nerves in the feet die. Neuropathy is the official name for the numbness and tingling in toes and feet that diabetics generally, eventually, experience. The burnout is also why toe tissue dies and toes need to be amputated, along with a foot or even an entire lower leg with knee, depending. Eye tissue is another location hit particularly hard by this burn out effect from sugars.

So there’s impact over time based on how much caustic sugar fuel you pour into your own bloodstream.

Also, sugar is addictive. Like meth or heroin, people struggle with letting it go.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

Very well put, thank you!

Also, sugar is addictive. Like meth or heroin, people struggle with letting it go.

Don't I know it

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

millennials may miss out

Love how that title makes it sound millennials are somehow to blame

[–] [email protected] 19 points 12 hours ago (6 children)

I don't see that. To me it reads as guilt tripping the parents for wanting to spend the money they themselves earned.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

It is one thing if a kid's parents just does not have the means, but the article points out that some baby boomers (maybe more commonly in a the west?) can have tendencies to be spiteful toward people deemed less. Maybe this happens more so in WASP culture.

I'm personally of the belief that if I ever chose to have kids, that I would see it to the end that they felt supported, regardless of their age. The kids themselves didn't ask to be born.

A lot of cultures who have these values, I notice, have kids that thrive a lot more. I have some friends from east Asia, and they all were encouraged to be independent and pursue meaningful careers. Their parents support them intensely, and help with investments and other forms of support.

My biological father's family is Jewish (nonreligious). My first cousin is very successful and I know has been set up to have a meaningful career, because my aunt let her live at home during graduate school, and paid for her graduate degree in speech pathology. She will inherit the house she grew up in.

I grew up in WASP culture on my biological mother's side, and my mom has the attitude that she wants nothing to do with me, especially after I turned 18.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

When my grandparents passed away they left my boomer mother a fully paid off duplex...

Which she immediately reverse mortgaged to fund her retirement because she has nothing.

A house my grandmother designed, and great grandmother financed and built, where 4 generations of my family lived and literally died, will be pissed into the wind when my mother dies.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 hours ago

"Generation Me."

[–] [email protected] 63 points 16 hours ago (12 children)

My dad - who was an amazingly racist conspiracy theorist - gave all his money to 2 redhead women he started fucking after divorcing the woman he married after my mom died.

He chose not to leave me anything because I called him out for using the "n" word any time he talked about African Americans.

I'm out $150k

He is out having a legacy. My kids will never know his name, story, or hate.

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