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The majority of what we know as Christmas traditions predated Christianity. The Church just slapped Jesus onto it just like capitalism slapped mercantilism onto it later on.

Now do the crucifixion, coward.

• Gazoo bush thorns Snorlax pressed on his head.
• Oh how Je-Who cried and how much his head bled.
• A gatterwomp decked with all ziggles and bops.
• They forced him to drag up a hill to the top.
• Once there they drove nails through his hands and his feet.
• Oh how Who-Lord howled and how much did he weep!
• They erected the gatterwomp high on the hill.
• And the who's in Who-Gotha did jeer and trill.
• A guard with his zingerbot stabbed Je-Who's side.
• Just to check for sure that the Lord Je-Who had died.
• But out of the wound came not who-blood or snot.
• But delicious glitterflam for all the little who tots.

I can just see the trailers for Who Gibson's Passion of Who-Christ now.

I like that there’s a cute reference: Peter comes from the same root as petrify, the Greek word for rock. He was the first pope, because he was the rock upon which Jesus built the church.

Horton hears the voice of Who-god.

Was looking for Tardis jokes, was disappointed