Excellent Reads

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Are you tired of clickbait and the current state of journalism? This community is meant to remind you that excellent journalism still happens. While not sticking to a specific topic, the focus will be on high-quality articles and discussion around their topics.

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Learning to Connect With Friends — Without Alcohol (www.nytimes.com)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/longreads

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By the time the entrees came, we’d reached the end of these “so what else is new” updates. I recognized that we were at a threshold — one I had been unable to cross so far without booze.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

We've created an environment where our option is a binary drink, not drink. Non drinkers are treated with suspicion. People who use other drugs are stigmatised. Little wonder sober socialising is problematic.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I found this was more the case early on into quitting. The author's advice of pushing through the discomfort and saying what you wish you could is perfect. It really helps ratchet up a social engagement into gear. After a while you get used to just speaking your mind, more earnestly than ever before in my case.

Keep it up and you'll be laughing and crying in the pub's booth just like old times, walking home tired and wobbly from oversharing. Yes you'll even cringe at your inability to keep your big mouth closed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I've run into similar issues because frankly, the lockdowns of 2020-2023 also shut down my socialization almost completely. I don't share verbally, but only in pseudonymous settings like social media. In real life, I'm either task-focused (up until last month I was going to board games once a week - I've since shut down), taciturn and focused inward, or drunk. I don't share inner thoughts or opinions. I don't care much about what others around me say. The biggest problem for me of sober socializing is mostly that I don't have anyone I'd particularly like to be with, when I'm sober.

Now that I'm in that spiral, I don't see a way back.