Asklemmy

I used to work at a new car dealership, I didn't have a whole lot of experience. I get a new truck in that the customer wants running boards installed on. I get it up on the lift and start working on it. I get one side loosely on and bend down to do something then the back of the truck falls off the lift and the sides land on the lift arms. For some dumb reason my instinct was to try to catch the truck. Fortunately I wasn't crushed. The problem was that the lift arms did not lock into position, the lift pads were round rubber pads which were pretty smooth and the truck frame had just been undercoated. The lift arms just decided to both slip inwards. They said it wasn't even the first time something like that had happened with that specific lift.

The damage was pretty bad because that running board that was loosely installed bent up the rocker panel. Both bed sides were damaged.

A couple of years ago my (now ex, for urelated reasons) partner got ahold of some molly. I was pretty new to drugs, but trusted her to keep me safe. We tested a small portion of it, and it came back clean. That night we took it with us to some club and did some lines in the bathroom.

Unfortunately, I was unaware that the chemicals in those test kits have expiration dates, and no one had ever explained the chocolate chip cookie effect to me. Either we just missed the chunk that had fentanyl in it, or those expired tests just weren't accurate, but either way I ended up overdosing.

I'm told my heart stopped for about ten minutes. Fortunately for me, the boyfriend of one of the performers had narcan with him. I had collapsed in front of the bar, and woke up laying in the parking lot with a bunch of strangers crowding around me. My partner ended up bundling me into the car and driving me home. I'm pretty sure I ended up with some brain damage. Years later though, I feel like I'm pretty much recovered, fortunately.

Kid me was pretty stupid. My mom, sister, and I went on a trip to Hawaii with my mom's coworker. At that time, I was really bad at swimming. One of the beach trips we went to snorkel. I was left unsupervised for a while and ended up following a sea turtle way too far out. I ended up getting water in the breathing tube, and I panicked. I think I was flailing around for about two minutes going up and down the surface of the water until my mom's coworker noticed and dragged me back to shore. Was pretty sure I would've just drowned if no one noticed.

Found out I'm allergic to a medicine after being administered via IV in one shot, luckily for me I was already at the hospital and the nurses figured out what was happening.

Got SIBO from a liver or gallbladder issue. Went through 1 to 4 bottles a month of antibiotics. 2 for 2 weeks then next 2 weeks 2 different ones. Done that 15 times. Was given 4 to 8 weeks max to live losing 2 to 4 pounds a week at 105 pounds. Still not sure how I beat it. I'm still struggling but doing a bit better. Hospitals are shit, most Dr.s are shit. Health is wealth!

A few, 7yo appendicitis which ruptured in surgery. 15yo Fell from 3 story high scaffolding and landed on my back. 11yo an adult repeatedly slammed my head onto a wooden floor: maybe not a near death but I had thought that that was the end. 18yo big hill at night friends figgered we would ghost it, brakes off keys out of the ignition, find break don't work and scrabbling to put keys in ignition.. I was drunk so I don't remember much else but we all survived car had a dent on the bumper.

I have two from when I was a kid. Once I was waiting at a traffic light with my mom. The light turns green and I jump out onto a street without looking. Not even half a second later a car whizzes by just centimeters in front of me. It went by so fast I have no doubt it would have killed me had it hit. That was probably 20 years ago and I still always look both ways even when the light is green.

Another one was at the beach. I couldn't swim (still can't) so I was walking parallel to the shore in water up to my shoulders. At one point there was a drainage pipe or something and the current from it seems to have eroded the bottom, so as I'm walking the ground suddenly goes out from under me and I feel like I'm getting pulled deeper in the sea. Luckily my mom was nearby and pulled me out pretty quickly. I don't like going deeper than waist height into the sea since then.

I also had a more recent scary moment, which wasn't really near death, but could have easily been very bad if there was an oncoming car. Get good tyres and don't fuck around in the rain, kids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXTThHtUqLk

Heart stopped beating. I could feel the lack of oxygen despite breathing like mad. Thought "Fuck, tomorrow my mom is going to find me dead in my bed" (I still was a student living close enough to university to commute). Luckily, one of the built-in safety mechanisms kicked in and my heart restarted. Spent some weeks in hospital after that so they could find me a better medication than the one I was using.

I put a gun to my head, ready to end it all.

Woke up in a hospital. No drugs involved.

I drove myself there. The gun was in the glove compartment. Apparently, I self admitted through ED.

I remember NOTHING from gun to my head to waking up in the hospital.

Not sure if that qualifies as near death, but I think I was.

I am better now. That was years ago, I came close again recently, but this time I have answers about myself and a place to start.

Almost choked to death on potato. Fell to the ground, which loosened potato.

Bumped my head with another kid in 6th grade at recess. When we went back in for reading time I realised I couldn't read and had a headache, so I told my teacher and went up to the front office. I remember sitting down waiting for my mum to pick me up, then next thing I know I'm laying down in a hospital bed. Apparently I got a really bad concussion and went crazy and I don't remember a thing, I'm glad I don't lol.

A bunch.

Two while snowboarding. First time I hit some rocks that were hidden in fresh snow. When I checked my helmet, a rock had pierced it in the back of my head. It was easily a fatal hit had I not had my helmet on. The second time I accidentally rode off a cliff (took the wrong line). I landed on my back in powder but a snapped branch was sticking up two inches below my left arm pit. Had I fallen four inches to the left, it would have impaled me through the heart.

I lost count how many while surfing. Lost a surfer I was trying to rescue and almost drowned myself.

Oddly, never while downhill skateboard racing.

Twice while riding a motorcycle.

Once in a car. A pickup hydroplaned on the interstate right ahead of me. It went in the ditch, overcorrected and came right at my door at speed. I turned my wheel into it so it wouldn't t-bone me but instead I missed it entirely and all I got was mud on my car and in my underware.

Blockage in three of my four main heart arteries. Two were 99% blocked. It required four emergency stents in my heart. I should be dead for sure from that one but a little voice in my head told me to skip the boat trip and go to the ER because I felt "funny".

Stage 3 cancer. Beat it but lost my singing voice. Fuck cancer.