Happy October 1st! So excited for the fall, changing leaves, cooler weather where I’m at. I will not drink with you today!
this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2024
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my first octsober :)
I will join you!
g'day team, was having a really shit morning, super uneasy "I need to gtfo of rehab" feeling, all that vanished when a C17 globemaster flew overhead, i shat, started tracking her on a flight path app, she headed straight for alice springs almost dead centre of australia, but she made a little dip around my hometown?? other than that, straight line, I was slightly offended. she dumped a bunch of shit at alice and is on her way back here. ill see if she does it again. day 12, learned how much damage alcohol really does in class, big yikes but been fantasizing about weed. hmm. 
I like flying things. They are neat.
Rehabs do teach you a ton of things though and that is cool. I am sure you are getting really good at your "I" statements by now too and that is always good to learn for a ton of situations in life.
Don't worry about the pot fantasies. It's not alcohol. (Rehabs tend to treat it like the devil, if you haven't seen that yet.)
Above all else, your main takeaway from rehab is that rehab sucks ass. It can be enjoyable for some, I suppose. (I must have liked it so much I went back at least 4 or 5 times.)
An old acquaintance was confused as to why I kept going back and then he simply told me one thing: "If you don't want to get drunk any more, then don't drink. It's as easy as that." It took me the better part of 15 years to figure out what that really means, but I have a few years of sobriety under my belt now. (I don't count days. I was sober today and that is all that matters to me.)
hey thanks v much. i shouldn't be counting but im hyped for my first AA chip, im full commit to sobriety, today's lesson was how much damage alcohol does to your entire body which was, idk solidifying my sobriety, terrible drug. I've had to detox a million times but this is my first rehab, I've learned so much ive laughed ive cried and im almost certain I have bipolar and a shitload of trauma to work through. thanks for the encouragement I really love checking in even tho I go way off topic, but itll be good for me to go back through and read my rehab journey. thanks friend, congrats to us on getting through another day
I wish you the best and glad you are excited about your first chip! While I don't regularly go to AA anymore, I'll still walk into an occasional meeting every few months as a healthy reminder about why I don't drink. (I have personal disagreements with that style of program, but that is OK! To each their own.)
But yeah, alcohol is a hell of a drug. I knew all the bad things it was doing to me and I welcomed it. Since I was too chicken-shit to put a gun to my own head, drinking myself to death was the next best option.
And honestly, you sound really excited about the path you are taking and nobody here should give a shit about how far off-topic you might get. You keep exploring your sobriety in your own way! (For myself, if I was sober for a week or so, my ADHD would kick-in hard and my hyperactivity was uncontrollable.)
But yeah, I'll still check-in here every once in a while too. And yeah, you are helping me more than you know, btw. (Drunks share a very unique bond, even if they are half a world apart. )
alcoholism really is a universal experience, all the shares are extremely similar. yeah I can't stand the god stuff im hard atheist but i do have a higher power. one guy made his higher power a can of coke he kept in his glove box, then his car got stolen haha.
yep only time ive attempted is when ive been absolutely blind, its such a depressant but I just feel so much freer not having to worry about if I've got enough, withdrawals, money, getting arrested and all the nightmare bullshit that goes with being an alcoholic.
currently hyperactive as fk, nothing to do but play guitar, write, read pamphlets and yell at horses. I need to get busy and be occupied, make some damn mortgage payments I haven't been to work all year, my parents have been looking after everything im so lucky and grateful.
my pleasure my friend thankyou, msg me anytime
That’s interesting about the plane! Worry about the alcohol, don’t worry about the weed, IMHO. You’re doing great, ALL of the alcohol is out of your system now! Half life’s and all. How are the meetings going?
the in ward meetings are p depressing lots of trauma dumping and bad vibes from patients id rather not hang out with, very keen to get back to my home group, when someone gets a chip they pass it around the circle and charge it up with good vibes I'll pass around my necklace. only let a few special friends here touch it. but plan to get AA circle and triangle tattooed on my right hand over a self harm scar and this cool infinity one mick found and printed out for me, in case I get ambidextrous about drinking. generally, things are improving nightmares are subsiding, way less vivid and retraumatising, new antidepressant and looking forward to going home. i think a big part of yesterdays bad vibes was homesickness, and not just for home but for my home meeting, my job, my family. shit I've just spent so much time in hospitals since 2021, very over it
Early Wed morning here, I want to commit to not drinking again today. I've been back on it since Sat, after my best run ever of 17 consecutive AF days. Really noticing how I feel low- level crappy and tired all morning, even if I don't "have a hang- over". Just getting through normal stuff is more of a struggle, which is part of why I feel like I've earned my drinks as soon as I get in the door in the afternoon. I know it won't be easy at that point in time today to stick to this, but I've got my AF alternatives in the fridge, and I'm writing here to set that intention...