this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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My partner and I are recent graduates, and are looking to adopt. I've only lived with a dog briefly and them a cat, so I don't have insight but I'm not opposed. Casting a wide net as I'm the one lacking confidence here, their gung-ho ;~;

Old versus Young? Do breeds determine personality? Behavioral red flags? I know all floofs deserve a chance at love but we're fresh faced parents.

Anything helps, thanks all!

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

I recommend going to a shelter and explaining your living situation. They care alot about finding the right homes for the animals and won't pressure you into someone who isn't right for your situation. Don't go in expecting to adopt someone the first day, trust your heart but don't rush anything. They all have their own personalities, don't discount the shy ones they can become the most loving.

Outside of that, don't declaw cats, don't dock tail or ears, do have dew claws removed on dogs if the vet approves. Spay and nuetur.

Most importantly, just do your homework. This is a great place to start and I applaud you for asking. Find a vet near you, figure out costs, have what you need before your furbaby comes home.

I wish you the best!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We have four:

Rocket, adopted as a kitten from the humane society. 10 years old. She was rescued from a hoarder in Los Angeles.

Keanu, who was a tiny, starving kitten at a co-workers house. 8 years old.

Lorelei, aged 2. Neighbors cat had a litter:

Willow, 6 months, other neighbors litter:

All four have been raised and socialized the same way. Rocket and Keanu both love me and compete for who gets to curl up with me.

Lorelei is, largely, indifferent, unless food is in play. She demands the first right of refusal on all food, which she doesn't actually EAT, she just wants to inspect it.

Willow is convinced she's been kidnapped and wants nothing to do with us:

https://youtu.be/9os7eSj2KJo

We've been bribing her with treats, but she will not cuddle, hates being touched, and will actively back away from you if you try to pet her.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

We once had a rescue like Willow. He decided to live behind a bunch of boxes and only came out when he thought he was alone. Even with the other cats he was like "nah". Until one day someone dropped a toy made of fake fur and feathers close to his hideout. 180 personality change. He completely lost it and was so focused on this stupid thing that socializing suddenly was no issue at all if he was allowed to bring his toy. Bonus points and cuddles if you engaged in his play. It was fascinating.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Willow actually loves Lorelei and will curl up, cuddle and purr with her. She plays with Keanu. Rocket wants NOTHING to do with her and Willow mostly respects that, but then Rocket also hated Keanu and Lorelei too and warmed up to both of them over time, so we'll see.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Hello! Congrats on your plans for cat adoption! Here's a few pieces of advice I have from experience:

  1. Kittens are a lot of work. They're really cute! But they are babies and they act like it. You have to teach them a lot of things about the world, and how to interact with people/other animals/things. And often most places will only adopt out kittens in pairs, since they benefit from having a buddy growing up. Since kittens are in high demand, they often have a bigger adoption fee, if that matters to you. Adult cats between 2-10 years are probably ideal for most new cat owners as they are well established adults that won't need a lot of training for the most part (but definitely know as much of your cat's history when adopting if you can!).

  2. Cat breeds aren't like dog breeds, by and large. They are mostly common cats of different colors down at the animal shelter, and cat owners will swear up and down that cat colors have personalities (torties are sassy! Orange cats are dumb but sweet!) but it's largely just the individual cat's personality. The important things for you are probably going to be fur length (long hair and hairless cats require a lot more maintenance or it'll effect their health) and how well you get along with the cat individually. The one thing to note is do not adopt a bengal cat as a beginner! They are hybrids with wild cats and act like it! And also I would advise against smooshed nose cats/floppy ear cats/tail-less cats/short legged "dwarf" cats, as they have some pretty bad health issues from those genetic differences.

  3. Cats in the shelter are stressed and probably not going to act exactly the same way when you take them home. If they're very friendly, they could be more standoffish, or vice versa. You just gotta find the one that speaks to you! And be patient allowing them to adjust when you take them home. Give them a landing space with a litter box, water, and maybe a little food in opposite corners, and give them some hours to get used to the sounds and smells of their new place. Depending on how much space you have, it'll be between a day and a week for a cat to get settled.

  4. Get the very basics to start and be ready to get more stuff later. A basic litter box, scoop, and a cheap carrier will do it before you adopt. Use your own dishes for water and food before you go buying anything for the cat, you don't know right away what needs they'll have. The shelter should recommend you food, get small quantities (not bulk) until you've had your first vet check up in case that changes. My cat is spoiled with a much bigger litter box than our first pick, a water fountain, an automatic feeder, wet food on a plate (most cats like flat surfaces instead of bowls for food), and so many toys he doesn't like anymore!

  5. Have fun! Cats are great. If you learn their body language and respect their autonomy, they'll love you so much for it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

The cat(s) will pick you.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

My advice is to know that, unlike dogs, a cat’s personality is not built into their breed, with maybe very minor behavior exceptions. Quite frankly, dogs were bred specifically for their behaviors, artificial selection created breed personalities— cat breeding was never for personality, but usually appearance instead, leaving personality to go whatever which way.

And secondly, you must know that a cat will not fully develop their personality until they’ve grown up a bit— you can’t learn a cat’s personality when they’re still a kitten. If you are adopting, adopting a kitting will mean rolling the dice on what you get. But adopting an adult cat will mean you can pick out a personality while at the shelter.

Seriously. You can learn a cat’s personality from 10-30 minutes hanging out with them in a room at the shelter… but only if they aren’t a kitten. And some personalities will fit with you and your family, and some will not.

Do you want a cuddler? An active playful cat? Or one that avoids you mostly and does their own thing? Or are you just looking for something pretty that matches your furniture? (I don’t really recommend you get a cat in this case, but historically, you’d be in good company)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I've always gone with the cat that needed a home the most. The oldest, saddest one they have. Its worth everything that comes with it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Try being a foster parent first! You may foster fail and find the perfect fit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Young, female.

Don't get one if you ever intend to travel together and don't have parents/close friends to leave them with. Cats are amazing but after they develop their little neuroticisms, you'll never feel comfortable leaving them with strangers.

If you live in a house in anything but the most remote places, keep them locked up otherwise they'll go missing one day and it'll break your heart.

Other than that there's not much that can go wrong, just pick the one you vibe more with and that's it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Talk to them frequently and engage with them actively. My friend was surprised that my kitties come when called. They aren’t aloof. They run to the door to greet me (or my partner) when I walk in. They are very loving if raised this way. Not quite like a dog because we domesticated dogs earlier, but absolutely just as loving.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We didn't domesticate cats, as it turns out. They domesticated themselves, or so I've read. Something about the rats eating our grain and the cats coming around to eats the rodents and then getting comfortable being around us humans.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Yep, I've read the same. And that's why we've been living around them half as long. They needed agriculture for us to be interesting whereas we trained dogs to help us hunt.